Tough Love - Chris Sturniolo

But Sometimes a Loss is Also a Win

Anastasia

I didn't know what the hell he was up to, but he was up to something. I waited outside his bedroom door, my stomach in knots at the thought of going into his room with him alone.

As much as I'd wanted to win that bet, some part of me was happy he had. Sure, he pissed me off on the porch all those weeks ago, but he was genuinely working to win me over. He didn't let my attitude push him away, and he didn't deny the connection that was always pulling us closer. He was braver than me.

He came back to the door and opened it slowly so I could step inside. It was dark, except for the lit candles all around the room. My favourite song by my favourite band played low on his speakers, and as I walked in, I turned to look at the tv, where a movie I'd watched a million times was queued up and ready to play. His bed was made, and in the middle was a bag of the doritos I loved and a bag of mini reese's. I fucking loved reese's.

I turned to look at him.

"What..." I whispered, trying to understand what I was seeing. "What the hell is happening right now?"

"It's our date," he laughed lightly. I just stared, coming to grips with how ridiculous this was. "I asked Ella your favourite things, and I had it all ready before the party started. I just needed to light the candles," he said proudly. My heart swelled and for a split second, I felt deeply emotional. I was overwhelmed by it, and cleared my throat.

"So you planned to get me down here?" I asked in an accusatory way, moving over to the bed and grabbing the bag of reese's.

"I mean I know you love a good bet, I knew you'd take it. And come on, have you seen Ella play? She's terrible," he said.

"Poor Ella, she really does suck," I agreed, walking around his room slowly as I opened the bag and popped a few in my mouth. I looked at shelves full of trophies. Lacrosse, baseball, basketball, even a couple soccer ones and of course about a million hockey ones. I was right, he was just an all-around athlete.

The room was silent for a bit as I took my time looking at his things. He opened the bag of doritos and sat on the bed while I learned about him. He had posters of rappers I didn't know. He had a shelf of collectables of a brand I didn't recognize. He had games lined up on a bookshelf that I'd never heard of or played.

The only light in the room was from the paused tv and candles. We sat in the silence for a moment as I took everything in. I didn't know Chris that well, but I'd never have guessed sweet gestures were in his wheelhouse. It just didn't fit my vision of him, but I guess there was a lot I didn't know about him.

"Do you like it?" he asked, chewing. I met his eye, and the low light of the room didn't stop me from seeing he was vulnerable in this moment. He really did want me to like his surprise.

"I mean..." I said, contemplating my answer for a moment. "I kind of love it," I admitted. He smiled widely, and I didn't smile back, but I appreciated him more in that moment than I ever had before.

"I'm sorry about what happened on the porch, Stasia," he said, dropping his smile and I sighed.

"Yeah, that sucked," I commented, continuing to observe and investigate his things. He let me do it, offering me an open book into his personal life, and almost like he was enjoying me invading his space.

"I know, it was shitty," he said, and I didn't turn to look at him. It was easier to understand him, actually listen to his words and read his intentions without the distraction of his pretty face. "We were having a moment, I knew we were...I didn't think about it from your side...we were opening up to each other, you know?" He paused while he thought, and I pretended to be absorbed in something while I listened so I wouldn't have to turn around. "You were showing me yourself, and then I gave my attention to someone else, someone I don't even like...and, I don't know..." he exhaled. It was clear he knew what he felt, he was just struggling to find the words so I gave him time to find them. "I just like you, Stasia. And I didn't know you liked me too or I would never have done that. We kind of match...I've never had that before." He laughed his stress out. "Holy shit I don't know if any of that made sense. I don't know what I'm doing."

That made me turn. I'd never seen Chris be anything but completely sure of himself. His nervousness in expressing his feelings was something I experienced, and his insecurity in sharing vulnerability was something I understood well. He sat on the bed, running his hands in his hair and looking anywhere but at me.

"We do kind of match, don't we?" I asked, feeling comforted by what he'd said. He looked at me then. "But who says I like you?" I asked playfully, returning to that part. He looked momentarily guilty.

"Ella did," he replied.

"Ella said what?!" I exclaimed, not expecting him to give me a real answer. I'd never even told her that! I'd barely admitted it to myself! How the fuck could she have come to that conclusion before me, and then she shared it with him? Oh my god, that girl.

"Ahhh," he stuttered, trying to smooth it over. "Don't be mad at her, she was only trying to help when I pissed you off. She didn't want me to give up." I stopped to consider that, and although I'd still be talking to her about it, I did also appreciate her helping him, and inadvertently also me. But god, sometimes she was too soft for her own good.

"Well I never told her I liked you, so that was false intel," I replied dismissively. He looked at me then, and his eyes told me everything. He knew I was lying about liking him.

"Stasia, come on..." he said, reaching into the chip bag. "You're practically in love with me," he joked on a mouthful. I'd still been eating the reese's, so I threw one at him, and his hand snapped up to catch it out of the air with the reaction timing only an athlete could have. I cursed him for how hot I found that.

"Oh get over yourself," I said, trying and failing to cover my smile.

"See? Smiling and everything, you're fucking crazy about me and you know it," he teased and I wanted to strangle and kiss him all at the same time.

"Easy, Casanova, you ain't all that," I joked back. "You're the one showing up to my games, setting up secret dates in your room and doing stalker research on me."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I have," he conceded, still smiling and eating a couple more chips. His silver bracelet drew my eyes to his hands and I noticed how masculine they were. "Come on, you're fucking incredible," he added. I looked up at him. I don't know how he did that, wore his heart on his sleeve, fearlessly. I was fearless in many ways, but not this one.

"Oh my god," I whispered, looking away in brief embarrassment and he laughed.

"Wanna make another bet?" he asked, and I turned back to look at him, cocking an eyebrow.

"I don't know, is there a wedding ring waiting for me in the bathroom if I lose this one?" I asked and he literally laughed out loud.

"See? You're funny too. You're literally the girl of my dreams," he said, turning the right way on the bed and leaning back onto his forearms.

"You're a smooth talker, you know that?" I commented, feeling flushed by his praise.

"Yeah I know," he replied, the confidence oozing out of him like it never left. "I'm a man of many talents," he added, popping the chocolate I'd thrown at him into his mouth.