Fate's Design

The way I see you [Kaeya]

[Name] was quite strange.

They were not one to have crushes mostly because they were sure that nobody would be capable of loving them. After all, they were just an ordinary person, nothing in particular was remarkable to them. Their personality? Average. Swordsmanship? Also, average. Looks? Average. But, even for this average person they would wish someone would at least bat an eye towards them.

"If you want someone to like you then, change your average self. You're always so boring c'mon!" One of their friends suggested. "Don't listen to them, [Name]! If someone really loves you then they would accept you no matter your flaws." Another friend would retaliate.

[Name] was torn between the two. Yes, someone should love you for who you are but they were just so boring, what else was there to love? That's what they thought at least.

[Name] tried everything to stand out. Swordsmanship training, studying and many more and yet nobody. Nobody found them attractive at all. Next attempt were their looks. A new haircut, outfits and still nothing. They tried engaging with others but nothing clicked. "Sorry, [Name] I guess my suggestion doesn't apply to you huh..." The same friend said. "Maybe nobody really will love you." "Hey! Take that back! We're supposed to help her dumbass!" [Name] was silent. "Ignore them, they're just stupid." They stayed silent.

"...Am I really that horrible?"

~•~

[Name] was aimlessly wandering around Dawn Winery. After that incident, their mother took them with her to work. She wanted them to have some fresh air and time away from the city. They spent their time walking around the vineyard watching the crystalfies or noticing small creatures under the vines.

Little did they know that somebody would change their life entirely.

One of Master Crepus' sons, Kaeya was also wandering around the vineyard until they noticed somebody watching the crystalfies pass by. Once they disappeared from their point of view, they looked in front to see a certain boy staring at them. [Name]'s first instinct was to flee. "Wait- I didn't mean to stare!" He spoke. [Name] froze. "It's fine..." They replied. "I know you! You were with Miss [Mother's name]." "Yes...because she's my mom." "Really? How come I never see you around here?" He asked. "I don't have a reason to be here...I only went with her so she won't worry." [Name] says. "Oh right, I'm Kaeya. What's your name?" "[Name]."

From that encounter blossomed a friendship between the two. [Name] found themselves going to work with their mother just to see him. Of course, she was happy to know that her child looks happy to be there. She would do anything to make sure [Name]'s happy.

"Hey, Kaeya. Don't you find me...boring? All I talk about are my studies or sword fighting, don't you think that's a bit...lame?" [Name] asked. "What? Why would you be lame? You're strong and smart! That's pretty great if you ask me. I would want to fight side by side with you and Diluc! So..." Kaeya takes their hands in his. "I'm not lying when I say you're special to me. No matter what you say or what you look like, you're still important to me!"

For the first time, [Name] felt like they were able to love somebody. His words left them flustered and speechless. They never expected this to come out from Kaeya himself. To [Name], he was way out of their league. But Kaeya thought otherwise. He found their rambling adorable and admired how they protected him with a sword when they ventured too far from the winery.
Kaeya embraced them. "[Name]...please promise me we'll stay together no matter what."

With a smile, [Name] agreed.

Friends became lovers in no time. [Name] loved Kaeya to the point where they begin to think about those thoughts again. Sometimes, they would hear people in the city gossip about the Cavalry Captain's partner. They expected somebody that was the opposite of who [Name] was.

Ever since they first met, Kaeya always noticed how sad [Name] was. They often downplayed their achievements and strengths as if it wasn't worth mentioning. If it were a bully who was speaking these words, Kaeya would not hesitate to defend them and fend off whoever harmed them this badly but it was [Name] who was saying such hurtful words to themselves.
They were oh so wrong. If only Kaeya had the courage when they were younger, he would've declared just how much he loved [Name]'s charms and flaws. After being left by his father, he hoped somebody would never abandon him ever again. After being taken in by Crepus, he wished to never be left alone again.

[Name] was there by his side when he lost not only his other father but his brother too. After the fight resulting into Kaeya's Vision, [Name] made sure to stay by his side no matter what. Kaeya would also do the same. During moments where [Name]'s thoughts were taking over them, he would be there to embrace them and assure [Name] that he loved them.

He truly did.

If he had a chance to erase every single insecurity [Name] had, he would take it. He wanted to show just how much [Name] was worth it. To him, [Name] was worth loving. And yet, why couldn't they see what he sees.

~•~

"Kaeya...let's end this."

[Name] said without hesitation. They asked Kaeya if he could meet them but this wasn't what he expected.

"You...deserve better. I'm sure there's someone who isn't like me who will love you just the same." [Name] couldn't keep up the straight face. "You're right." Kaeya replied. [Name] could feel their heart drop. "Because there's nobody like you. Every day that you wake up in my arms, visit me in my office, treat wounds, all these memories. I would do anything just for your suffering to end...so please..." Kaeya placed their hands in his just like that day. "Don't leave me too."

"I'm sorry." [Name] cried. "Your face, your body, your attitude everything about you is precious to me. After all, it was you who charmed my heart. Nobody else." He said. [Name] wanted to just embrace him and tell him it was all a joke. But it was not. Kaeya noticed this too. "But...I can't change your mind now, can I?"

"I'm sorry, Kaeya. I really am. If only you had met someone else that wasn't me." They said. "There's nothing I would change." He replied. "Please...it's for the best, Kaeya. Let me go." [Name] tried to push him away. "Is it really for the best? What if I can't find anyone better?" He asked, sadness evident on his voice. "I know you will. So, I wish you the best. Kaeya."

"If only you could see yourself the way I see you."
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I've been dead for ages.
But here i am, bringing y'all a new chapter of Genshin angst woohoo

I'm thinking about finishing this book because I don't get any ideas anymore. I won't officially put the "finished" mark on this book, but I probably won't work on this for a long time, if I ever work on this again.