his secret | woosan

nine

after san had left so abruptly, i thought it was better to leave than stay the night alone. i called my mom to pick me up from his house. she seemed worried, asking if something went wrong. i hated lying to her, but i told her everything was okay and that i left because i had trouble sleeping in a new place. i doubted she believed me, but i couldn't dare tell her the truth.

it had been two days since that night, but the memories flooded my mind constantly. sometimes, i couldn't help but feel those fluttering butterflies in my stomach at the thought of our kiss. yet, other times, confusion clouded my thoughts, leaving me feeling almost used. san had not contacted me since that day and hadn't shown up at school either. i was worried and curious about why he hadn't come to school, but we weren't close enough for me to just text him and ask.

thoughts like, "did he just kiss me because he was bored? or maybe he regretted it, which is why he didn't contact me," floated through my mind. i tried to focus on school to keep myself distracted, though it was hard. it was friday—just one more day to get through this week, i thought to myself.

the bell for the last class rang. i reached my classroom on the third floor and walked to my desk by the huge window, which showered warm sunlight on my skin. this school was so different from my old one. my previous school was always too crowded, with wooden desks covered in scribbles, and small windows plastered with old newspapers, blocking out any sunlight. it was dark, dull, and boring. this school, on the other hand, was bright, modern, and spacious. i suddenly felt immensely grateful for this opportunity and responsible for taking good care of my grades and studying hard.

i took out my sketchbook from my backpack along with my art supplies and laid them on my desk. i was ready for the last class of the day. no san, no distractions, just work. the second bell rang, signalling the beginning of class. the teacher entered the classroom and began talking about the group project due next monday. thankfully, i had already finished it, so i had no more business engaging with san's friends.

five minutes into the class, the classroom door flew open. everyone's eyes landed on seonghwa standing in the doorway. "sorry we're late," he said dismissively. the teacher nodded for him to sit at his desk. seonghwa walked to the back of the classroom with his hands in his pockets.

the class almost resumed listening to the teacher when san and mingi emerged from the hallway. my cheeks reddened when san's eyes met mine as he entered. his shirt's top buttons were undone, revealing his defined chest, and his tie hung loose around his neck. his eyes looked dark and tired. as he ran a hand through his dark, tousled hair, his bicep flexed subtly. the brief eye contact felt electric, but i looked away, unable to withstand the intensity. san and mingi settled into their seats at the back of the classroom.

at least he's okay, i thought. the teacher's voice cut through the murmur of the room. "okay, everyone, join your desks together and sit in your groups of four. you may talk, but make sure it's about the project only. i will be returning in about 20 minutes. a quick teachers' meeting has been called."

chaos erupted as the classroom rearranged itself, my heartbeat quickening at the thought of facing san. i was too nervous to look back at the desk where he and his friends were sitting.

suddenly, a hard object hit the back of my head. i glanced down at the eraser that had landed beside my desk and then turned to see seonghwa, who had thrown it. he was turned around in his chair, sitting at the seats formed by joining four desks. my heart skipped a beat at the sight of san's half-hidden face behind mingi and seonghwa. san's low chuckle and mingi's loud laughter filled the room as they watched a video on mingi's phone.

"what the fuck are you waiting for?" seonghwa snapped. rolling my eyes at his tone, i grabbed my backpack and walked towards the back of the classroom.

i took the empty seat beside san, directly across from seonghwa and mingi. i slid down in the slightly wobbly chair. san and mingi remained fixated on the video, completely engrossed in its content. seonghwa groaned in frustration. "can we work on this stupid project now? it's due in three days." their laughter died down, and their eyes shifted to me.