his secret | woosan

fourteen

i pushed open the glass doors, the cool metal of the handle biting against my palm as i exited the hall, my breath hitching in frustration. i moved quickly, weaving through a few people as i made my way across the hallway, my eyes scanning for a bathroom.

the corridor ahead was long and wide, softly lit, but the blaring music from downstairs crashed into my ears, making me wince. at the far end, there was a large black door.

as i walked down the hallway, i noticed a couple of doors on each side. i stopped at the first one, twisting the knob with a small hope that it would be vacant. but as i opened it, i quickly closed it again, catching sight of a naked couple inside. i blinked, trying to shake off the awkwardness, and moved on to the next door.

i twisted the knob, but it didn't budge—locked. i sighed, feeling a bit more frustrated, and tried the door across from it. locked again.

with a resigned breath, i continued down the hallway, passing by a few more people before finally stopping in front of the last door. it was the large, black door that stood out. the long handle felt cool under my hand. this could be the master bedroom, i thought.

i pushed open the door and was immediately struck by the number of people in the room. all eyes turned toward me, a collective gaze that made me hesitate in the doorway. before i could even take in my surroundings, a guy's voice called out from the far end of the room, "oh great, get him, get him!"

i instinctively stepped back, but before i could retreat, a girl standing right by the door grabbed my arm. "hey, hey, come on in. you should join us, we're playing a fun game!" she said, her voice dripping with fake enthusiasm. the forced smile on her face only added to the unease crawling up my spine.

"no, thanks. i'm just gonna go," i replied hesitantly. as soon as the words left my mouth, her smile dropped, and i heard a low grunt of displeasure from the back of the room.

i tried to close the door quickly, but she wedged her foot between the door and the frame, stopping it cold. with a swift motion, she wrapped an arm around my shoulders and yanked me into the room. pain shot through my side as i winced, trying to shrug off her grip, but she only tightened her hold.

"just shut up and play along," she whispered sharply in my ear, her voice a stark contrast to the cheerful tone she used next as she announced, "okay, it's decided! yara, who lost the game, goes into the closet with him..." she paused, humming thoughtfully before adding, "for five minutes! i think that's a fair punishment."

the room erupted in a mix of loud cheers and laughter. i spotted a girl, who i assumed was yara, near the large closet at the back of the room, rolling her eyes at me. with an annoyed sigh, she slid open the closet door and stepped inside. the girl who had dragged me in released her grip from my shoulder and gave me a slight shove toward the closet. the crowd eagerly parted, creating a clear path for me as they buzzed with anticipation. i was so frustrated but felt utterly helpless.

just five minutes, i thought. the sooner i go in, the sooner i'll be out. i'll stay as far away from yara as possible—that'll probably disappoint the crowd, and then, i can slip out quickly. reluctantly, i walked toward the closet and stepped inside, standing opposite yara. she glared at me from head to toe, arms crossed tightly over her chest. a guy shut the closet door behind us, and the noise from the crowd outside grew annoyingly loud.

i glanced at yara for a moment, neither of us making a move. i leaned my back against the wall, silently counting down the minutes. few minutes passed, and neither of us moved or spoke, which i was perfectly happy with.

"you're new," yara said, breaking the silence.

"yeah," i replied, trying to sound nonchalant, though i was eager to leave.

"did you join this year or have you just been invisible?" yara asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

i sighed and replied, "this year," keeping it brief and to the point.

yara moved closer, standing right beside me. "thought so. i wouldn't miss someone like you. well then, that means you're still due for a proper welcome."

i glanced at her, noticing her gaze darting between my eyes and my mouth. "a what now?"

without warning, yara grabbed the sides of my face and pressed her lips against mine. shocked, i tried to pull away, but she only tightened her grip, her lips moving insistently against mine. she seized my hand with hers, forcing it to grab her butt, squeezing her hand over mine. disgusted and desperate for air, i opened my mouth, but as i did, i felt yara push something small onto my tongue. instinctively, i swallowed.

my eyes widened in panic as i pulled back. "what was that? what did i just swallow?"

yara smirked, a chilling expression that sent a shiver down my spine. suddenly, the closet doors flew open.

people stood right outside the door, and the group let out collective grunts as they watched yara step out, acting as if nothing had happened. "what? he's not my type," she said, her tone casual.

a girl standing next to her chimed in, "stop lying, he's actually cute." yara smirked at the comment, her confidence unshaken.

still reeling from what had just occurred, i hurried to step out. with everyone's attention now off me, i made a beeline for the door. but i suddenly froze in my tracks when my eyes landed on a sight i hadn't expected.

near the corner of the bedroom, beside the bed, a girl's hands slid under san's shirt, her fingers tracing slow, deliberate paths up and down his back. san's grip tightened on her waist, both hands holding her firmly—one hand balancing a cup as they kissed, completely absorbed in their own world.

for a moment, the sight paralyzed me. it was as if the air had been sucked out of the room, leaving me breathless and hollow. my eyes locked onto san's half-closed ones, and i swore i saw a flicker of recognition—a glimmer that he knew how much this was tearing me apart.

he pulled away from her, just for a second, his eyes finding mine. in that split second, i hoped—prayed—that he'd come over, explain, tell me this wasn't what it looked like. that somehow, this wasn't the truth i was seeing. his gaze held mine, and i wanted to believe i saw something there—remorse, regret, anything that could make sense of this.

but then, the girl tugged at his face, whispering something in his ear. whatever it was, it made him break our gaze. without hesitation, he turned back to her, his lips crashing against hers as if nothing had happened, as if i hadn't been standing right there, shattered.

my heart splintered into a thousand pieces, each one more jagged and painful than the last. i kept telling myself that we weren't dating, that san didn't owe me any explanations, that this shouldn't hurt the way it did. but the logic meant nothing. my heart refused to understand, clinging desperately to the image of his eyes, that fleeting connection that was gone as quickly as it had come.