The Princess and The Knight | Jenlisa

Chapter 19 - Regret

*Lisa's POV*

I groaned at the sudden invasion of light as someone removed the jacket I put over my face when I went to sleep last night.

I was inside the store room where we keep our old case files. I squinted my eyes and found that it was Namjoon Oppa and Jungkook. I didn't speak. I let them drag me inside our chief's office, and I was met with his accusing eyes. Seul-gi was present there, too.

"What the hell do you think you are doing, Lisa?" He growled at me, but there was a sense of concern in his tone.

"What?" I shrugged. I didn't break anyone's bone this time.

"You are asking me that? What are you doing to yourself? Look at you. You look like a drugged mess. You are always here. You don't go home anymore. You are not eating properly. You are not getting enough sleep. You are just making a mess out of yourself." He pointed out.

"She has been like that since she came back," Seul-gi added.

"And she's refusing to say anything." Jungkook too.

Well, it's true. I don't know how many days have passed since that day. That dreaded day when I broke my Jennie's heart. Every minute here, it feels like fucking years, and I feel like I am in hell. This place — my office — which felt like a home for me, feels like a nightmare now.

I don't know when was the last time I took a bath or changed my clothes. I sting. As our chief said, I haven't even gone home. I feel scared to go there. There's no Jennie there. No more of her precious smiles to greet me, no more of her sweet voice to talk to me, no more of her intoxicating smell, which could make me forget about a tiring day, and no more of her soothing warmth that used to make me fall asleep without a worry.

I can't sleep properly anymore. Every time I close my eyes, Jennie's tear-streaked face and her betrayed eyes haunt me. Every time I try to eat, the food feels like poison, and it gets stuck in my throat. I feel like throwing up.

I feel breathless. But I, myself, brought this on me. It's all my fault.

I didn't expect Jennie's parents to have her marry off this quickly. And her proposal to run away was also not possible. I could easily escape, but what about the lives I leave here? And my job! I couldn't leave any of it behind.

But I regret it. I regret telling her that I would choose my job over her. Because I need her, I can't live without her.

But why didn't I say it to her?

'Please tell me you love me.'

Her pleading eyes that looked at me with so much hope — I can't forget them.

Fuck!

Instead of yelling at her and breaking her heart, what if I had told her the truth that I couldn't live without her and that I love her? Would we have changed something?

Maybe. Maybe not.

But it all feels so late now.

I think she hates me now. And she should.

But I wish I could see her just once.

"Lisa, you are spacing out," Jungkook said, shaking my shoulder.

I couldn't take it anymore, and tears flew down my face. I broke down in front of them, falling to my knees, and I sobbed. I have been trying so hard not to give in in front of them, but I can't do it anymore.

Seul-gi knelt beside me and hugged me, and I cried on her shoulder.

It took me a few minutes to come to my senses, and I stopped crying. I roughly wiped my tears and rushed out of the room. I ran to the rooftop and screamed.