And Then We Fell Apart (18+)

chapter 9

I've been waiting for this summer for what feels like a lifetime. I want to swim and lay in the sun and play stupid games and eat ice cream and watch fireworks just like last summer. And I want to do it all again with Sam. Just like last summer.

But, there's a problem.

On the very first morning of summer break, I hurriedly pull my tried and true dark blue bathing suit on over my body, and the strap rips.

It rips.

It was starting to pull a little bit last summer, but I didn't think it would be enough to tear, especially on the very first day of summer. I run downstairs in a state of panic, holding onto the strap for dear life to my mom who sits quietly at the kitchen table.

"Mom!" I groan, pulling on the strap as if she can't already see that I'm just about going to fall out of the once very forgiving, but now not-so-forgiving material.

"Oh, no," she gets up, inspecting the damage. "Chandler, I don't think this is salvageable, I'm afraid."

"What am I going to do?" I whine. "It's the first day of summer and we were going to go to the beach and—"

"I'm sorry, but I can't take you to get a new one. I have to go to work. Can't you, just— I don't know— wear a T-shirt, or something?"

"Mom," I gripe more quietly this time, giving her a look to show her that it's a ridiculous idea. As a sixteen year old girl going to the beach, wearing a T-shirt would be social suicide.

She shakes her head. "I know. Sorry." Her eyes light up. "Can I give you money and you can go pick one from the gift shop at the other end of the shore?"

"Yes!" I cheer excitedly. "Oh, thank you, Mom! Thank you so much. I promise, I'll do extra chores tonight. Whatever you need, I'll do it."

She laughs, waving her hand in my direction. "Yeah, yeah. Just be careful, okay? Maybe see if Sam will go with you. I don't want you walking by yourself."

I want to roll my eyes, but I don't because she's doing me such a favor. I can't imagine not being able to spend the first day of summer on the beach with all of my friends. That would devastate me.

After my mom gives me money and leaves for work, I go over to Sam's and walk through the back door like I always do. He's sitting at the counter eating breakfast while Stella sips on a mug of black coffee, looking just as bored with the world as she always does.

"Chandler, what the fuck? Where's your bathing suit?" Sam says right away.

I shake my head. "It broke this morning. Can you come with me to the store to get a new one? The one at the end of the shore?"

He shrugs. "Sure."

"I wouldn't go there. They don't have anything good," Stella chimes in.

I look in her direction, gulping away any nerves that accumulate in my throat strictly from her presence. "Well, that's the only place close enough for me to go. My mom is at work, so—"

"I'll take you to the mall," she shrugs. "I have nothing better to do. Besides, I will not let you pick out some ugly thing like you had last summer."

Sam and I are silent. Did we both just hear her correctly? Is she in a state of psychosis? Of course there's a backhanded statement littered amongst her gesture, but from Stella, a gesture is a gesture. I'll take what I can get.

"Well?" she presses, shaking her head.

While I agree to go with the girl who's done nothing but make my life more of a slew of uncertainty than it already was, Sam comes too. He tells me later that he would never leave me alone with her. He says he's pretty certain she'd latch onto me like a parasite and I'd come back being just like her. He said he'd rather die than lose me to her. It makes me smile.