And Then We Fell Apart (18+)

chapter 12

I skip breakfast the next morning to see if I can fast too. But after feeling light headed, intensely irritable, and seeing that I haven't lost even a pound, I give up and have some toast by ten that morning. Maybe fasting isn't for me.

It's raining today, so the beach is a no go. I still go over to Sam's in the morning like I always do but instead of going upstairs and watching movies, we hang out with Bennett and Noah who are already there when I arrive. While rain splashes against the living room windows and the clouds cast a dark shadow over the room, we all lay on the floor and play Uno.

"Jesus fucking Christ, why am I so bad at this game?" Bennett wails. After tallying this round of scores, I reveal that Bennett is in last place by over one hundred and fifty points.

"You just don't know the secret to winning," I pile up everyone's cards again and stack them neatly.

"There's a secret?"

I nod. "I mean, yeah. I don't know if it's, like, really a secret though. It's just strategy."

"How the fuck can you strategize Uno? That makes no sense!"

This makes me laugh. Bennett reminds me of a puppy sometimes, very easily excitable but also easily irritable. Sometimes he's sweet but with the flip of a switch, he's completely agitated. There's never an in between.

Stella rushes down the stairs faster than she normally does, but I stay focused on shuffling the cards. Sam keeps trying to show me how, but I can't figure it out.

"No, stop," he laughs. I try again. "Wait, not like that either." He lays his hands over mine from beside me for the third time that afternoon to show me what I need to do.

Okay. Maybe I do know how to shuffle cards. I just like the feeling of Sam's hands guiding mine. I've been anxiously awaiting the end of every single game so we can touch. Again, again, and again.

"Like this?" I ask.

I'm mesmerized by his fingers that are just about interlocked with mine. I can see the outline of his veins on his hands as they contort around mine, which makes my mouth go dry. My breath is labored, but I like it. I like the shortness of breath.

"Sort of," he replies kindly in his soft, low voice. "I'll teach you by the end of summer. Okay?"

I look up at him with his hands still over mine, captivated by his eyes as I always seem to be. I'm drawn in so deeply that I forget our other two friends are here, and I quite honestly don't care that they are. I know they're watching, and I know Bennett is concocting some comment about how Sam and I should just "make out already," but I don't mind it. I secretly kind of like it.

Finally I nod. I just barely take my bottom lip between my teeth to suppress the smile begging to find my mouth, my cheeks already flushed with pink. I'm feeling brave enough to let my eyes fall to his lips but they barely make it past his nose before Stella is breathlessly calling my name from the end of the stairs.

"Chandler, come here!" she laughs.

I furrow my eyebrows at Sam, who looks at me with worry already washed over his face. Any time Stella has ever needed me, it never ends well. We both know that.

"Why?" I start dealing the cards.

"We're bored and want to put makeup on you," she declares as if I should have already known that's what she wanted me for, despite the spontaneity.

I look over my shoulder at her. "I don't really want to. Sorry."

"Come on!" she pleads, standing over the four of us. "You guys have been playing that for, like, two hours. Don't you want to be around some estrogen for once?"