Knowing Kiara

8

Bright and early on the morning I turned twenty one years old, I was serenaded awake by the song 'happy birthday', sung completely out of tune and out of sync.

I was submerged in a sea of beautiful pinks. Pink balloons, pink confetti, pink gifts laid out on my furniture.

It was a perfect dream. Our smiles were all genuine and natural and the excitement from months of anticipation was alive in the atmosphere.

But it was only a dream because once reality washed over me like a tsunami, the perfect birthday haze vanished, replaced with a sour, sinister vibe.

The smile on my lips drooped to a frown and my father was the one to watch it happen. He saw the moment the past couple of days caught up with me and he realised that both of our hopes of me putting it all to one side just for today, were crushed.

His eyes had bounced between me and the small gold wrapped box in his hand that stood out amongst all of the pink. It seemed special, I realised. Perhaps that's why he debated whether or not to actually hand it over to me after seeing the ghostly, haunted look on my face.

He subtly opened the top drawer of my bedside table, the one he stole my letter from yesterday, and placed the gift inside, turning the lock before anyone else noticed. He held my eyes the whole time and mouthed 'another day'.

I didn't put up a fight and simply nodded, relieved that atleast I have that to look forward to once all of this havoc dies down.

The rest of that morning was an out of body experience and eventually everyone was just pretending not to notice how detached I was. It was an unspoken agreement not to mention any topics that would dampen the day despite the day having been damp before it even began.

When the fussy gifts and cards portion of the morning was over at last and my cheeks were aching from my fake smile, I tucked myself away in the corner of my crowded bedroom on my bay window seat. It was under the guise of admiring the same expansive view of Italy that I'd seen every day for the better part of my life when truthfully, my mind was on another planet.

The chatter dies a sudden death and turns from gushing about the extravagance of my surprise to heated and hushed whispers far away.

I take a peek from my peripheral vision to see that Jace, Dad and Kelly seem to be engaged in a passionate discussion while Gray, Rowan and Harry make little efforts to hide their eavesdropping.

"They can help! It's better than nothing Kian." Jace exclaims louder than a whisper.

I strain to hear the rest of the conversation but their volume cautiously lowers when they become conscious of my proximity.

"Fuck them and fuck the entire party on second thought. None of it is worth putting my daughters life at risk."

In the milliseconds that follow the doorbell echoes throughout the house announcing a visitor buzzing in at the gate. It saves my Dad from having to endure my argument and replaces everyone's concern with curiosity and confusion.

I squint to look at our visitor past the long winding driveway and through the bushes and privacy flowers.

Ordinarily, I would have difficulty distinguishing who it was but the high visibility jacket and company van gives him away.

It's our regular post man.

I make Dad aware of this before he physically combusts due to the stress and surprise of the visit. He speaks with the man over the speaker on his phone and I watch him disappear from my bedroom and then reappear through the window as he speeds down the driveway to meet him.