Me Against Her (Cate Blanchett x OC)

Feud

I never expected that the day my nightmare was over, another began. 

I had an insufferable relationship with my boss, Robyn. She was the Artistic Director of the Sydney Theatre Company - well, until this morning. She used to be an actress before her stint as a theater administrator, so she sat me down in her office and said to me in the most dramatic way ever:

"My time is up, Edie. I'm leaving." 

Given the my playwriting background and a complete lack of acting skills, I did all that I could to muster a surprised expression while internally I breathed a sigh of relief. By any and all standards, Robyn was a horrible boss. Volatile, egocentric, and worst of all, with no vision for the company, I toiled as her Associate Director for 6 excruciating years. As terrific as she was on the stage, she was horrible in equal measure in leadership. She knew it. I knew it. She knew I knew it, but was always too proud to admit it. 

"Oh my gosh, Robyn. I'm so sorry to hear that." 

"No you're not," she said, the honesty behind her words pricking my ears, "you're desperate for me to leave, aren't you?"

"Robyn, I -" I fumbled for words, "I don't know how you got that impression..."

"I'm not your boss anymore, so no need to lie out of your pretty little mouth." she took out a cigarette and smoked up a storm, "What I'm trying to say is, the work that you did over these past years wasn't half bad. So I've put in a recommendation to the board for you to potentially succeed me." 

I couldn't believe my ears. After 6 years of daily abuse, she was actually doing something nice for me? 

"I don't know what to say. I'm very honored about your recognition and can't thank you enough." 

"Boo hoo, you've been trying to take my place for years. Don't act innocent all of sudden." her stare shot daggers at me, "If these old lungs of mine aren't giving out, I wouldn't even let you dream of getting your way." 

And with that, my professional relationship with Robyn ground to a halt, and a dazzling new world of opportunity opened up at my feet. She was right - I'd been eyeing the role of Artistic Director for years. I'd even gone behind her back and pitched some of my ideas to the board. Every risk was worth it to be at the helm of such an incredible theater company, one of Australia's best. And I knew in my bones that I was the most qualified person for the role, knowing the ins and outs of the theater's operations, my playwriting background enabling me to communicate on a deep level with artists, and having built great rapport with everyone at the company. 

Things began rolling fast as I got an email from the board later that day to come in for a talk the following week. I put on my best pantsuit and arrived at the Green Room 15 minutes early to wait. The Theater was empty, as the crew for our next production wouldn't move in for another few days. But there were two other people in the Green Room, who I'd never seen or met before. 

One was a pudgy man of average height, contorted features, beer belly. The other was a tall blond woman, patrician features, looked like old money. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed them staring at me, but I ignored them completely, assuming they were probably visitors or guests who were here for a tour of the theater. 

After I came out of the board interview, I was shocked to see that the two of them went in after me, together. An ominous feeling washed over me, and I walked back to my desk area, where I happened to bump into the new intern on his way out. 

"Do you know who those people were back in the Green Room?" I asked. 

"No idea, but I heard that they're some kind of husband-and-wife team here to interview to be co-Artistic Directors." 

My brain started racing in a million directions. First of all, Robyn completely fucked with my expectations by not telling me that I had stiff competition. Second of all, never in my lifetime would I have guessed that the two people back there were a couple. They seemed like they were from entirely different spheres of existence. Coming from a blue collar background, I grew up with an eye for judging whether people belonged in the same circle or not. 

"Well, what's their deal?" I pressed on anxiously, as if my entire career depended on this one question.  

"I don't know, I only check people in. Not sure about the husband, but I heard the wife's a Hollywood star of some sort." 

"No fucking way," I cussed rather loudly, feeling history repeat itself, "not another dumb actress." 

The air in the room froze all of a sudden. I turned around, and realized that the two of them, along with the Chair of the Board, were standing right behind me. And to add to my mortification tenfold, I recognized the woman, because I'd seen her in a dozen famous movies before. Though for the life of me I couldn't remember her name. I didn't care much for movies overall - they were a pulpy form of entertainment designed to opiate the masses. 

We all knew that they heard me loud and clear, but they proceeded to continue their tour of the theater as if they didn't hear a single thing. The man carried on emotionless, but the woman looked back at me once when they were rather far away. Soon, the incident was erased from my brain, and I trusted that the board would be level-headed enough to choose someone with actual experience running a theater, instead of attaching some Hollywood brand to our theater's name to draw eyeballs. 

Boy, was I wrong. 

I later found out, through the hardest way possible, that that was not how the capitalistic world worked. And also that the woman was so much more than just a Hollywood brand. 

But I digress. Let's flash back to the night I was tasked with the mission of hosting Robyn's farewell party.