Me Against Her (Cate Blanchett x OC)

Ragnarok

In Norse mythology, Ragnarok is a series of impending events, including a great battle in which numerous great mythological figures perish. In the Marvel movie, Thor: Ragnarok, it referred to an apocalypse that will destroy the realm of Asgard. Thor, played by Hemsworth, killed his own sister, Hela, played by Blanchett, with Ragnarok. It was the story that Hollywood sold to people, and it was the version that everyone paid to see. 

But Hela shouldn't have died. It was in her destiny to kill Thor and regain her kingdom. 

She was known as the Goddess of Death for a reason. 

Thor: Ragnarok slayed harder at the box office than any of its characters did on the battlefield. It made 854 million dollars over a 180 million-dollar budget. This was in no small part due to the other story that Hollywood sold to its audiences, the one not grounded in Norse mythology and the comic book world of Marvel, but in the stuff of real life: the sizzling chemistry between its two leads, Chris Hemsworth and Cate Blanchett. 

Well, the credit mostly went to Cate Blanchett. Throughout the press tour, she seemed utterly infatuated with her co-star. It was the perfect story for the tabloids: middle-aged woman divorces hideous husband and finds a sexual upgrade in a hot young stud. A pair of wisecracking, charismatic Aussies at the peak of their careers. The 'ship claimed every headline, and the cash came pouring in. Rumors were that they were going to tie the knot after the press tour. 

The higher the expectations, the harder the fall. 

During their last interview together for the movie, long after the project had been pronounced a raging commercial success, destiny reversed itself. He was supposed to enact revenge on her the way Thor did on Hela, and demean her for occupying territory that he himself desired. Chris Hemsworth was going to out Cate Blanchett as a lesbian. A despicable dyke engaged in the most compromising of activities. 

But Hela crushed Thor's hammer. He had no evidence, and she had all the evidence. So she outed him instead. In a future memoir, she would describe the act as Hela's arc coming full circle. 

The journalists went into a frenzy. There was only thin air between Chris and Cate, but the flashlights from the cameras formed a concrete wall that separated them forever. He could never touch her again. The only way he could get closer to her was to fling himself against the concrete wall of his prison cell. 

All of this was of course flawlessly orchestrated by me. But the experience was too satisfying that I had to do it more than once. I swapped out Cate and Chris' names for fictional ones, added a few more dramatic flourishes, took out the dark edge, and a new dramedy called The Threesome was born. 

Written, directed, and produced by me and Harge, it was the debut production for our own new theater company. The show was funded by Cate's fat eight-figure paycheck from Marvel, and naturally, we regained a cordial professional relationship through theater like she initially proposed, as Artistic Director and financier. As a surprise to few, The Threesome quickly topped the local charts in Sydney and became a best-selling show. 

Success was a curious magnet that drew closer all the phantoms in your life, past and present. Two weeks after we opened, there was a familiar face in the audience. Abby and I locked eyes for a fleeting moment in a crowd, then she disappeared. She never approached me after the show, and I never saw her again.

-----

"Oh boy, I can just retire tomorrow," Harge lay down on the bare stage after the audience left that night, "it must be so annoying for other people that it took us a year to achieve what they worked towards for like, ten years." 

"How are you gonna spend the money?" I sat down next to him, "Honestly I don't know yet. I feel like very few people in theater have ever had to think about this." 

"I feel so bad for you, Madame Artistic Director," he nudged me gently, "a crisis of riches looks great on you, girl." 

I smiled and looked down at my suit. I was so used to seeing sweatpants covered in dust from running around back stage. It was a welcome upgrade. 

"So, how's it between you and Cate?" He feigned nonchalance but clearly couldn't suppress his eagerness for tea. 

"It's been good, ever since she made more money she's much more financially literate. She can even manage her own spreadsheets now..." 

Harge nudged me so hard this time I welped. "Bitch, you know very well that's not what I asked." 

I let out a sigh. 

"Look, I know a lot has happened between the two of you," he continued, "but you've already sublimated it into commercially-viable art. That's the best way to heal. Besides, there's clearly still something between the two of you..." 

Cate walked in on us at this very moment with a bag of snacks, "something between who?" she asked. 

"Nothing and no one," Harge said, bouncing up like a spring, "I'm sleepy and have to go home. Bye-bye!" Then he jogged out of the back exit. 

"What's up with him?" Cate chuckled, "So eager to get away from us." 

"He's felt like a third wheel for a long time," I too stood up and started cleaning up the stage area on autopilot. 

"Well, is he?" Cate turned around, her eyes lingering on me for a moment, and before I had a chance to answer, "Don't get dust on your suit. You're not wearing sweatpants anymore...sweetheart." 

This all felt so comfortingly familiar. Like we picked up right where we left off from the day we went head-to-head with each other for the Artistic Director role at STC. Like we could head out anytime and grab dinner, and plan a trip to LA tomorrow. Like everything that happened in between was a fever dream. 

The only difference was that I was wearing a suit now. And that I had something, but not someone, to call my own.