A New Star - Kim Gyuvin

-*-nineteen-*-

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

todays december 1st, about a month since our little squad hung out all together at the amusement park

it has been almost a whole two months since i moved to BSC, crazy how quick time flies

to be honest, so much has happened in the past month. doah miyeong and haerin moved closer and are attending the same school as all of us, gaeul as well, doah and taerae are now official. tbh it was a matter of time before they got together

ive become closer with a lot of people, especially gyuvin, hiroka and matthew. the four of us would go out a lot together, wether it's shopping or just to watch the sunset together

i love my little friend group. it made me the happiest person ever, but besides that, studies were going great, dance was going perfect, everything seemed perfect

little did anyone know, i was still hiding something. something really personal that i hated talking about, but here i was, about to tell everyone what it was

people like gunwook, haerin, miyeong, doah and gaeul already knew, since we've been friends for way longer. and ofc jiwoong knew as well

i was nervous to talk about this with anyone, it still haunted me to this day, but i trusted them enough

we were all sat at my house, jiwoong was hugging me, because he knew that this wasn't an easy topic to talk about

a take a deep breath, contemplating whether I should actually say anything or not, but what's the worst that could happen??

"i invited you all here because i wanted to talk about something" i finally start of "it is really, really personal, and the reason why i hate going back to my hometown, but, i trust you all enough to hear me out. basically, when i was a child, about 10 years old, i was home alone while jiwoong was at a friends and my mother just went to the shops for a few minutes. that evening, there were so many break ins going on. our house was sadly one of the victim houses. i was just a child, a small child." everyone gasps, some of them covering their mouths in shock "my mother was on her way back home, but they..." tears start forming in my eyes and i can barely talk anymore, remembering all of this "they... as soon as she pulled up to the house... i don't know exactly what happened but i heard a loud scream from my mother... and then it was silent..." i start crying. all of this was so much for me

basically reliving the memories, my mothers scream still haunted me "she... she was taken to the hospital right away... but didn't make it"

i was a literal sobbing mess in my brothers arms. he wasn't there with me when that happened, but he did lose his mother as well. all the memories of me hiding under my bed, trying so hard not to make a sound, afraid they'd hear me and hurt me came back

"worst part is... to this day the police don't know who did it, noones been arrested for my mothers death" are the last things i manage to get out

my throat was literally closing, i could barely breathe from all the trauma i had as a small small child

everyone was sitting around me, hugging me, stroking my hair, holding my hand and telling me something, but i could hear none of it, i was crying my heart out

after a good half an hour, i started to calm down little by little, tears were still running down my cheeks, but i at least could talk