North

Part Two - Chapter 9 - June

Oftentimes, during what I would call my coming-of-age years, I found myself thinking of Tyler's dad. It's odd. There wasn't anything particularly special about him, and all my thoughts on the man tended to be negative. I mean, of course... I know of the hell Tyler used to live in because of him. I experienced it myself. To this day I am still in awe at how Tyler managed all of it as a kid. I was traumatised because of one single incident at his father's hands, meanwhile him...

I realised that everyone around me has gone through some kind of grief in their lives, and deals with it in different ways. I always felt my way of dealing with things was wrong.

I remembered when Tyler was sleeping in my room and on my bed for the duration of his stay. He had always snored and it used to keep me awake. I had gotten up off my inflatable mattress slowly, to make sure I didn't interfere with the careful bandaging, and I shaken him gently but nothing would've made that noise stop. I pressed him to the wall at which the bed was lined up against and then noticed the cuts on his face. I was used to Tyler looking battered up, but this time, he had emanated a sense so innocent and peaceful, snoring away, his black hair falling over his face and his eyelashes fluttering gently as if he was about to wake. The bruises tainted the once-perfect look.

Tyler was so beautiful.

"No... no!" he muttered sleepily. His face tensed, as if something was troubling him, and he rubbed his eyes in an effort to wake up.

I had wanted a glass of water so I rolled away from him annoyedly and sat up on the bed. I heard him groan and sniffle before the bed frame creaked with the weight of him turning to me.

"June, please don't go...I'm so sorry..." his voice broke into a sob.

He grabbed my wrist and I stayed put.

"I'm thirsty." I snapped.

"Don't leave." his voice crackled in the midst of his choked-up cries. "I just had a bad dream."

I still didn't face him, but my voice softened into a whisper.

"What about?"

Tyler had been on the verge of tears. I couldn't see him but I could hear it in his voice. When Tyler used to cry, he cried with his whole body. Whatever troubled him, it coursed through his blood and split his bones apart.

"I pushed you off a roof and you died."

...

I reminisce that night as I sit on the floor of my bathroom, shakily unboxing a purchase of ibuprofen. The thought of falling for infinity until my body made impact sent a shiver up my spine. The idea of a blade to my skin made my blood freeze. So I went with what I considered the least painful option... or so I thought.

I wondered what Tyler would think. I always wondered what Tyler would think. Would he stop me? He probably would. I set the litre of water beside me for a minute, just after swallowing the last few tablets, and then itching for more. And so I dug in the medicine drawer again, desperate.

My problem was that I thought it wasn't working.

Kill me, I pleaded. Please, let me go.

Let me stop.

~~~

"Dear June,

How are you? I hope this email finds you in good health.

I want to share some very important news with you. You and May. I sent her an email too. I want the two of you to come to Westbrook Shores in two days' time to discuss it. I am unsure of  how you will feel about it, but I do hope it isn't too much. Please find the time to do so.