We were laughing. I was laughing. I cherish the moments my family come together. It is rare we see each other but when we do it is always a party and what is a party without a few bumps here and there. Someone gets mad or someone eat too much and feel sick, or someone doesn't get heard over the loud chatter of the others. It is who we are. It is my family.
Laughter of joy celebrated our Christmas. Full bellies raced against each other for the toilets. Bloodstreams were filled to the brim with sugar, alcohol and juice or soda for the kids. Cheeks were cracking in wide smiles, and love was shared throughout all. When we had sung a few songs as a tradition after dinner and dessert Lyana and I settled down on a spot on the floor, our most priced tradition between us two siblings.
Riaz was sitting near looking at me with a soft smile as Ly and I began calling out names for the plenty of presents under the tree. It is not the presents that matter but the joy of giving a present and seeing the reaction of the family member who opens his or her gift. We took a few with out own names in-between but mostly we handed out to the others first.
The presents this year were amazing. I got a few things to the kitchen I had been wishing for a while since Riaz didn't have them when I first moved in. Besides that I got a pair of boots, some jewellery, and well that was it I think. I loved my presents, but I loved seeing my family open theirs more.
I adored seeing Riaz open his. I cracked laughing when he opened my prank gift I had gotten for him. A pair of boxers with my face all over them. His reaction was hilarious, and I settled in his lap once we had both calmed down from laughing. For the first time since forever I let my sister finish handing out presents alone.
It felt weird but good my mother looking at me proudly having me hide my face in my boyfriends chest in embarrassment. Not because it is really embarrassing but I just find compliments awkward to receive. My mother was hesitant when she first heard of my relationship with Riaz but now with this evening where she has seen us two together she seems all on board with it now.
Perhaps also because she saw how he calmed me down earlier when I had a panic/anxiety attack in the kitchen. I cuddled into him with a blanket on top of us feeling the exhaustion hit me for real. It is not even that late and usually we go on for another 3 hours, well into the night. I don't want to sleep. I want to experience Christmas like I usually do, smiling and laughing, being an excited little child, high on sugar and too much food and soda. This year is different. It is still one of the best Christmases ever but I am missing something. I am missing a piece of myself I don't know where to look for or if I will ever find it again.
"It's okay if you're tired baby. Fall asleep if you want to, I'll be right here the whole time" His words of reassurance were all I needed to fall into a deep sleep, all sounds and light fading away around me as I embraced the welcoming arms of dreamland.
*
It has been a nice Christmas. The waves of anxiety came near the surface a few times but every time he was there to catch me from falling. I never had that before and until now I never knew how much I needed it or how much I actually wanted it. I have realised how lonely I was. I never used to feel lonely and I didn't think I was until I met Riaz again and we became a couple.
My whole life I have never been much of a people person. I sought out people when I wanted to be with them but otherwise I liked the company of myself. It was where I relaxed the most, where I sought the most comfort, and where I could be myself, laughing without hiding my double chin because I am insecure of what people will think when they see it.
I liked being alone until I didn't. Or I still like it but not in the extent of how much time I spend alone before. Love, having a partner changes you. I honestly never believed in all that crap until I got together with Riaz myself and now I am here sleeping in his arms, surrounded by family at our first Christmas together and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Dear Readers. I am so sorry that I am not posting regularly. I simply can't. Inspiration comes and goes (fast) and I simply often have no idea what to write. When I first started this book I thought it would be easy peacy to write and finish. The first few chapters shot right out of me but then I began losing inspiration. Maybe because my life lacks colours I am well on the way of colouring again don't worry, but anyway. I just wanted to say updates will be slow, probably not edited, and well might lack some meat if you get what I mean haha. But I try my best and that is what you will get😅
If you are still here reading this then I just wanna say thank you for reading this far, I appreciate it more than you think❤️
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Only you!
RomanceOnly you! is a finished draft about a young girl searching for the one to start a family with. It's about a young girl living her life independently as she goes to school, and works in her free time juggling friends, family, school, and work. Barely...
