A Collection of Stories

Lost

My heart was splintering into billions of minute fractures.

My voice slipped out as soft as an errant breeze, "Rowan?"

The frantic white-haired man a distance away froze mid-track. His shoulders tensed up, afraid of what he might find, or what he might not. He turned around.

When our eyes locked, a tidal wave of quiet washed over us. The sounds of the battlefield died away. It was just us in the muted silence of the world.

His eyes widened the slightest. Desperation overtook his face as he tried to decipher between dream and reality. Like magnets with opposing poles, we were now standing close enough to touch. My eyes flitted across his face, memorizing every detail and watching every single soul-wrenching emotion whip across his face.

His swirling sapphire eyes shone full of hope and fear. My mind brought me back to the deep blue ocean we had watched together a long time ago. 

The ocean hid many secrets. Secrets we thought we could discover together. 

Even now, they had not been unearthed. Now, his eyes were hiding from me. 

Then, they burned with love. Trust.

Now, they scorched my skin with endless despair.

My knees trembled as the dam in my heart broke, drowning my soul with everything I tried to keep locked tight in the deepest parts of my mind. Hoping. Hoping that he would just disappear and never resurface. Now, they spilt forth acidic and with renewed fervour. I missed him. I missed him with every living breath I forced into my lungs. I missed him even when I loathed him with all my heart for the pain he had unearthed.

We were a finger-width apart. My hand reached out and trembled above his racing heart. His eyes pulsed with unflinching raw pain as he collapsed onto his knees. He took my trembling hand in his and held it to his chest as if unwilling to relinquish my touch. As if his heart was too fragile to bear seeing me crumble into dust, drifting with the wind, never to return. As if the possibility of me disappearing again was too great for him to bear that he had to grab onto any lifeline just to make certain that I was truly there. As if he believed with his whole being, deep into the depths of his soul that his mere presence was not enough of a reason for me to stay.

Guilt soiled my heart and I tore my eyes away, seared with utter shame.