The Monsters in Our Closets (GxG)

Chapter 9: The First Step of Honesty

It has been a couple of weeks since Skylar and I started working on our project, and I've gone over to her house every weekend to work on it. Not because I want to work on the very long project that is looming over us, but because I feel so comfortable at her house. There's just a certain aura that surrounds the house that just makes it feel so comfortable.

    Comfort. The one thing that I haven't felt in such a long time. Even when kid me discovered who I was, the thought of what is going to happen to me has always been in the air. Like a mustard gas that I can't see, but it enters through my bloodstream even without me knowing. But much unlike mustard gas, death happens slowly. Taking over all of my senses, making it hard for me just to breathe.

But with Sky, she's like the antidote. Not necessarily the cure, but she's definitely close to it. Although I know what the real cure would be, albeit a very painful and hard thing to do. And that would be honesty. To be honest with those around me. And be who I am.

But I still feel like I'm still a long way away from doing that. But eventually, maybe sometime this year, I can do it. Knowing that I will still have her by my side even when everyone leaves, gives me the strength and the will to do that. And for someone like me, that's all I can truly ask for.

First step of being me, is to break up with Jake. I can't keep doing this to him. He doesn't deserve it, the fact that behind closed doors I'm flirting with someone else. And today, I'm finally gonna do it. It's been a long couple of years with him, and I appreciate how he has treated me this whole time. But he deserves to be with someone that will love him and be there for him.

At this present moment, I'm standing outside his house, the crisp october air sends shivers down my back and goosebumps start to appear on the surface of my skin. I see that old, beat up pickup truck in the driveway, parked next to a brand new suv. I look from the driveway to the sidewalk leading up to white house. The walkway appears so much longer than it actually is, my mind making it look like a much more treacherous journey.

It doesn't help that it is currently eight at night, the sun having left us with the moon a while ago. The dark adds some kind of anxiety to everything else. The only lights being the one that's in the driveway that's attached to the garage, and the very few street lights that are behind me.

I already texted him that I needed to talk, so I know I can just walk up like usual, but my legs stay frozen to the ground. My brain basically refuses to send the signal to my legs to move. I have to do this, if I don't today, I'm afraid I never will. This is not just for me, but for him.

I can do this. Just one foot in front of the other.

I try to move my legs forward, the struggle making me resemble a kid that is just learning to walk. From an outsider's perspective, one might even find it funny that a teenager is struggling so hard to make it to the front door. And honestly, future me might laugh along with them.

Not too long after, although for me it felt like an eternity, I made it to the front door. I let out a breath that I was holding, my breath becoming foggy with the cold weather. I lift my hand up to the door bell, my finger looming over as thoughts of doubt start to cloud my mind. With a shake of my head to disperse those thoughts, a new found determination floods through my veins. A loud dinging sound can be heard as my finger finally presses the small ovular button. 

I can hear the barks of both of Jake's dogs rings throughout the house, basically ensuring that he knows I'm her. The sounds of footsteps making its way to the door in a rush, alert me that it is almost time. Time for honesty.

The door swings open, and a very worried looking Jake appears in the doorway, his brows knitted together. He's basically out of breath from the way he probably ran down his stairs. His brown, fluffy hair now looks more disheveled.