Mamihlapinatapai

Flamboyant Employment⋆｡°✩

Atlas was sitting between Draco and Blaise in Defense Against the Dark Arts. He was eyeing the rattling cage that was covered by a sheet. Lockhart cleared his throat and walked to the front of the class.

"Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher. Me. Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most- Charming-Smile Award. But I won't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!" He waited for people to laugh, but the room was silent. "I see you've all bought a complete set of my books. Well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about. Just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in."

"In the name of Merlin," Blaise groaned. "We were supposed to actually read this rubbish?" Atlas sighed as he looked over the test paper. He didn't know any of this.

"You have thirty minutes. Start now!"

The questions were stupid like ''What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?' and 'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?' Atlas thought Lockhart was utterly ridiculous.

Thirty minutes later, Lockhart collected the tests. "Tut, tut. Hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully. I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic people. Though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey!" He winked and the girls swooned again. "But Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions. Good girl! In fact, full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?"

"Filthy Mudblood," Draco grumbled. Hermione shakily raised her hand.

"Excellent! Quite excellent! Take ten points for Gryffindor. And so to business." He walked over to his desk, which the cage was sitting on. "Now, be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm."

The three boys sat up in interest and leaned over to look closer. Lockhart put his hand on the cage. "I must ask you not to scream," He said in a low voice. "It might provoke them." The whole class held their breath as he lifted the sheet off of the cage. "Yes, freshly caught Cornish Pixies." Seamus Finnigan snorted with laughter. "Yes?" Lockhart asked.

"Well, they're not - they're not very - dangerous, are they?" Seamus choked.

"Don't be so sure!" Lockhart said. "Devilish tricky little blighters they can be! Right, then. Let's see what you make of them!" He opened the cage.

"What the bloody hell is he doing!?" Atlas exclaimed, grabbing his wand.

Instantly, the pixies rocketed out of the cage. Two grabbed Neville by the ears and lifted him into the air. He got stuck on the chandelier. The pixies sprayed students with ink bottles and shredded books. They tore pictures from the walls, grabbed books and bags, and threw them all out the window. Within minutes, the classroom was destroyed. Half of the class was under the tables while the other half ran around.

"Come on now, round them up, round them up. They're only pixies!" Lockhart shouted. "Peskipiski Pesternomi!" The spell had no effect. A pixie seized his wand and threw it out the window. He darted under his desk and narrowly missed Neville, who fell as the chandelier gave out.

The bell rang and everyone rushed to the exit. Atlas was following his friends out of the classroom, but a couple of pixies snatched the back of his robes and pulled him back into the room. "Ah!" The other pixies slammed the door shut to prevent the other Slytherins from coming in to help him.