Kissed by Fire: Cal Kestis

Chapter 17

Given that Taanab was close by Kashyyyk, the trip back to the forest planet would only take a couple hours. In those moments of peace, Cere thought long and hard about how she could find some way to speak with Y/n. She tried apologizing once, but the girl was stern and stubborn. She wasn't going to budge with a mere apology of her actions. Cere cared very much for Y/n, taking her in when she had no one in her life, other than the brutal fighting masters in the low Coruscant levels. When she had found Y/n, she was stuck in level 1997, where the slum of the galaxy festered. Now she was a beautiful young woman with a driving mind of her own.

Cere walked into the common area, finding Y/n there with the hologram of her father and her resting in her hands. Instead, this time, she wasn't watching it with sad, or even emotionless eyes. This time, she was smiling. Granted, it was a small smile, but even so. Cere felt something had changed in the way Y/n saw her father's death, or at least something happened that made her accept it more. Three years had passed since Cere got the news of Vosso Novar's death. She always knew him to be a good man, despite his gambling habit that ultimately led to his downfall.

Cere noticed that when she entered the room, Y/n put the hologram recording down and away in her pocket. She went to stand, but Cere put her hand up and said, "Please. I just want to talk."

"I really don't see how we have anything to talk about," Y/n responded, looking up at Cere with quiet fury.

"Well, I do," Cere retorted as she crossed her arms. "Look, I know you hate me. I know you think I tried to gain something by telling you Trilla was dead. But, Y/n, I care about you more than I should. When I got the message that your father had been killed, the only thing I could think of was you." Y/n managed to lessen the anger in her gaze, but instead looked at the caf table in front of her. "I wanted you to feel like there was light at the other end of this... dark tunnel, because there is. I might not have lost Trilla, you're right. But there are moments when... I wish I did."

Y/n met Cere's eyes once more, slightly widening her own in surprise. Cere sighed, saying, "If Trilla had been killed, she would be spared the suffering she is going through now. And it is all because of me. I should've been killed in that torture chair, not Trilla. They took her and turned her into the Second Sister while I managed to escape."

Y/n looked away for a moment, hesitating before saying, "Cere, I don't hate you. I mean, I could never really hate you." Cere looked up, hope dancing in her heart. "I just wish you didn't tell me she had died. I know the pain you endured was- By the light, I can't even comprehend how it must have been. But it all feels like you were trying to gain something from me after learning my father was dead."

"I swear to you, Y/n. I would never try to do that, especially not after realizing what your mother had done," Cere told her, sitting down beside the girl.

"Look, Cere," Y/n began as she sat up straighter, "I'm not forgiving you yet. A year's worth of this lie is more than just a secret kept between two people. It's a breach of trust. But, I also know that we can't waste time on our anger. I don't know if this is some of your random Jedi teachings rubbing off on me, but focusing on this isn't going to get us anywhere right now. Especially since the Empire is right on our tail."

Cere nodded her head in understanding of Y/n's words, but she was grateful that she was taking her anger out of the equation. "We'll discuss this more when you get back from seeing Tarfful," she said, and Y/n was the first to get up and walk out of the room.

Y/n went back into the engine room where Cal was, knocking on the wall to get his attention. She noticed he was working on his lightsaber, and his head perked up when she entered the room. "Cal, I need to check your bandages before we get to Kashyyyk."