𝒐𝒖𝒓 [ 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 ] 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒌 ➼ She's tired of it―she's tired of it all. Watching from behind. Sneaking peaks, never being able to say: I love you.
Having crushed on the same boy for a long time Isa has realised that it's time for a change. B...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Two months have passed. Two months since I last talked to him. And two months since I last wrote to him. It's over.
He did write me a note, on a loose piece of paper but I ignored it. Crumpling it up in my hands but not throwing it away.
Ever since Bianca's confrontation I've been trying to stay away from Noah in any way I can — which is pretty difficult since we sit right next to each other. But it worked out, somehow.
Eventually he caught the hint and stopped trying to get near me.
There would be moments in P.E where he'd try to go to me but I always managed to avoid him. I quickly found another partner to practice with, Bianca most likely being the cause of it.
As for him, Noah was with some other students for a while but eventually Bianca made her move. Swiftly and carefully — but careful in a way that looks natural — and is now his partner in tennis. While I'm here.
Alone.
We're like how we used to be. In two different worlds.
"Are you listening?" Bianca snaps her fingers in front of me, causing me to jump.
"Huh? Oh yes, of course!"
She rolls her eyes, "Yeah sure, anyway you're going to the halloween party right?"
My eyes narrow, "No...? Why would I?"
She rolls her eyes yet again and lets out a loud grunt. "Because everyone is going. Because Noah is going."
My body freezes at the mention of Noah but I don't let it show. Hopefully.
She hovers one of the dresses in front of herself, inspecting if it looks good. "So you have to go too Bell, gotta show him that there really isn't anything between you two."
"How?" I ask, realization soon hitting me, "Oh...Oh — No Bianca please, not with him." Bianca has been setting me up with some guy from her class non-stop after my falling out with Noah. To divert my eyes from Noah and so Noah will divert his eyes from me.
But honestly, it feels like he's been looking at me more eversince that guy came into my life.
No. Never mind, just my own imagination.
Bianca pulls me back into reality again, "Suck it up. Chris will be your date for the halloween party, okay? He's a nice guy, right?"
Barely. All he ever does is talk about himself, throw cheap attempts at flirting at me and he smells way too much like cologne.
I didn't even mean to notice his smell. But no matter how far away I stood from him the stench still managed to hit me.
I let out a sigh. "Yes Bianca, I'll go with him."
She smiles, her eyes still on the dresses, "Good."
• ღ •
The party is as boring as I'd expect. It is a party hosted by the school, so not very shocking. Somehow, some students still managed to sneak in some alcohol.
I stand right opposite from Noah, on different sections of the room. Me at the back while he's at the front. Just like how Bianca wanted it. I get a full view of her snuggling up on him on the chair, playing with her hair, sending him smiles and tugging at his arm.
Chris is right next to me, holding onto my waist and pulling my body close to his. Does it make me uncomfortable? Yes. But I'm not sure if I'm in the position where I can complain.
Throughout the whole party Chris has been whispering dumb words into my ear, words I can barely even decipher.
But I can fully hear a few "baby, sweetheart, love" and many more stupid nicknames. I hold in a gag and keep on watching what is in front of me.
There are several students between us, a room only lit with flashing party lights yet I can still see him so clearly.
Not once has his eyes met mine.
The rapid beating of my heart comes back. I swallow back the tears. I can't cry. Not here. Not for Bianca's satisfaction. I can't. I won't.
The tears burn at the back of my eyes, I clutch my mouth, ducking my head.
I can't do it.
I rush out, pushing past all the people and bodies. I need space. I need air.
How did that story go again?
They made us read it once in school and then had us write about it a week after. At the moment I saw it as nothing more than a stupid assignment. But it seems I was wrong.
Icarus.
That's who it was. The man who flew too close to the sun — eventually burning away his wax wings and falling to the ground.
I should have learned. I should have listened.
It was so simple. So easy to understand, yet I still failed to.
Noah and I are to never meet.
While he's the sun, I am Icarus, the man with the wax wings — the one that'll burn if I get too close.
