hii guys! I just wanted to do an update and everything cuz its been a few years since this book officially ended. I dont think I've actually ever officially introduced myself on here so I wanted to do that :) so my name is Kailani but I go by Lani on here and I'm gonna be 20 on the 22nd :) which is insane cuz when i was 11 and had been diagnosed with depression, i never imagined living past 16 and now I'm almost 20. I just recently got diagnosed with bpd in February and as of right now, I have 20+ diagnoses that consist of mental and chronic disorders/conditions such as anemia, asthma, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, ptsd, adhd, fibromyalgia, anorexia nervosa, BED, EDS (ehlers danlos syndrome), arthritis (in my feet and possibly my hips and hands. I just got braces for my ankles and feet cuz my bones are slowly collapsing from the arthritis), AMPS, PCOS, scoliosis, chronic insomnia, chronic migraines, tremors, GERD/acid reflux, anxiety, depression, sickle cell trait, pityriasis rosea, vitamin D deficiency, IBS, dysautonomia and probably another thing or two but I am positive that I have autism as well. last month on the 24th, i went to a psych ward for the first time, surprisingly, for a week due to having a breakdown from my bpd and I am actually doing a lot better, I just need to get a new psychiatrist and therapist for medication cuz I've run out of almost all my medications that the hospital gave me after i left. i just got a new tattoo on my thigh yesterday which is of Tomie from junji ito (it's the picture of her distorted face) and I got a tattoo on my left upper arm of Medusa last month today which I'm sure a good amount of you know the meaning behind it but if you dont, Medusa has become a symbol for victims and survivors of sexual assault and sexual abuse, my reason for the tattoo being the last one. and then I have another on my wrist that I got after my 18th birthday which is just this ♡(♡) on my wrist. my father got out a month after my 18th birthday after being in prison for 4 years and 9 months for sexually abusing my little sisters and I. I still dont remember a majority of what he did but my youngest sister did just recently tell me that he did rape her and so I'm certain that the same happened to me since I don't remember a majority of my childhood. but aside from that, I am doing a lot better than when I first made this book. I was so young when I made this, like 12-13, and it's crazy to see how that I felt so horrible 7-8 years ago (the fact that it's been that long is crazy as well). I shouldn't have been feeling that way so young and yall shouldn't have either but unfortunately a lot of you do so I help my book helps in some way and if it doesnt, you guys can always talk to me :) I dont get message notifications on here but i do check my messages every now and again. but anyways, I love you guys. thank you for all the reads and votes, I really appreciate it :) here's a few pictures just so you get a general idea of what I look like :)
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(my best friend and i)
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(my tomie)
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(my medusa)
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