Ephemera- Of Fire and Ash

Veil Of Secrets

Hello everyone! I know it's been long but well, I am sorry! So this chapter is shorter than others but I figured it's better to update shorter chapters more often than updating longer chapters seldom. I hope ya all enjoy! 

Recommended to listen to the song attached above while reading the chapter.

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You can build walls all the way to the sky and I will find a way to fly above them. You can try to pin me down with a hundred thousand arms, but I will find a way to resist. And there are many of us out there, more than you think. People who refuse to stop believing. People who refuse to come to earth. People who love in a world without walls, people who love into hate, into refusal, against hope, and without fear.

I love you. Remember. They cannot take it.

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Yudhishthira's pov

I sat, chin in hand, staring listlessly. I have ever since the fateful game seemed to myself broken off from mankind; a kind of solitary wanderer in the wilds of life, without any certain direction, or fixed point of view: a gloomy gazer on a world to which I have little relation.

I didn't know what was happening to me since I tried to help Draupadi- Her name rang in my ears as I recalled my last meet with her, one that ended with me having a complete meltdown and being dragged in that darkness. It scared me, more than anything else. It left me hopeless and shivering.

I took comfort in bhrata's lap until I realized I had no right to, I bet him away and he, was my elder brother. Under the sequoia trees, I didn't know how much time passed until I felt my brothers beside me. I stiffened in my place for the only defence I had was pretending nothing ever happened yesterday.

Arjun cleared his throat as I drifted back into focus, "What do you all want?" I asked proud my voice did not betray me. The exchange looks with each other as I looked down, of course they planned to come here with some agenda.

Nakul took my pale hand, "Jyesth, I know we have not been kind to you, we are sorry, yesterday seeing you-" I cut him off, "Get to the point Nakul." I said with more hostility than I anticipated, he looked hurt for a second as Bheem said, "We are sorry for what happened. For the darkness- " Karn suddenly looked at us all, "Darkness? What are you all talking about?"

I suddenly shut my eyes as my nails drew blood from my palm. I could feel the darkness creeping up on me. My hand instantly went to my head as my vision swirled from pain. I could feel my brother's fussing over me and asking with concerned voices, but it all faded into a distant cacophony.

I pulled my knees to my chest and tried to block out the horrifying images that accused me. Images of my father's pyre, of the dice hall, of varnavrat, everything down to the last detail. It scared me and I wanted to scream till my throat was raw, but my voice suddenly seemed to be on a vacation.

By the time I drifted out of it all I saw Karna looking pissed at my brothers who looked down guiltily. He knew. I got up and went from there, I couldn't do this right now. They called for me, but I didn't respond. My five brothers would never understand how it was to be enveloped by darkness, your own brain yelling profanities at you, begging to be out of it.

It all fell on me like the promises I never kept.

My feet carried me to a place where I didn't know as I collapsed. My body wrecked with sobs as I wiped my own tears. My eyes stung and my body shivered. At night-time, I went back to our hut Draupadi's face suddenly lit up but then withered seeing my upset face, she was the only one outside, my brothers were probably inside.