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▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ❤︎, JAKE
YOU JUST COULDN'T STOP COULD YOU?!
You hadn't talked to Jake in months. Not that you wanted too. But now that he was on his way home from God knows what but for the last few hours he had been texting you nonstop. You had yet to answer any of them.
The message on the screen stared back at you, the message from Jake taunted you with its unanswered status. You hadn't wanted to reach out. Not since you both had stopped talking to each other a few months back. But here he was messaging you. One part of you wanted to respond but you knew you shouldn't. Throwing your phone to the side you stood up from the couch, deciding to erase the thought of his message and him altogether. You didn't need to be thinking about him right now, you didn't need to think about what happened between the two of you.
You sighed heavily as you placed a hand over your eyes, closing them tightly. You didn't know why you were doing this. But it was like you had no control over yourself. Even though you wanted to not think about him. The memories of him came flooding back to you.
The first time you two met, your first kiss with him, everything you tried to forget. You and him weren't anything. You haven't been in months. Not since everything came crashing down. So why haven't you blocked him? Maybe some part of you were hoping to finally get an answer from him why your relationship had become the way it did. Toxic and emotionally draining. You couldn't help but replay the last few months of your relationship with Jake in your mind.
Everything seemed to be good and healthy like any new relationship was but over the months and year you two were together things started to become tense and every day it seemed like you guys were arguing. And now looking back on it, you guys never actually broke up. It was simply that communication between you both simply stopped. It was as if both of you had just disappeared without a trace.
Feeling lost you grabbed your phone doing the thing you knew you shouldn't, but couldn't resist either. Opening the message from Jake, you read it again:
"I'm going to be landing soon. Can I come over?"
You stared at the message from Jake, reading it over and over again. It was a simple question, but it held so much weight. It wasn't a good idea. You couldn't-didn't want to see him. Glancing at message once more you clicked on his contact finally having the strength to do what you should've done months ago.
Taking a deep breath, you tapped on Jake's contact and scrolled down to find the "Block" option. As your finger hovered over it, you hesitated momentarily. This was truly the end of something that could've been great but wasn't. Taking a deep breath, you tapped the "Block" option without looking back. It was time to move on and let go of the past. The weight of the memories and emotions you had been carrying for months slowly lifted as you finally took control of the situation.
After blocking Jake's number, you placed your phone on the couch. It had been done. But why did you feel like it didn't change anything? Was this how it was supposed to feel? Like a mix of sadness and relief? It was as if you were mourning the loss of something that never quite had closure. The memories still lingered, and you couldn't shake the feeling that there were unanswered questions, unspoken words, and unresolved emotions.
For hours this feeling consumed you and your mind. Why weren't you happy you finally let it go? "Was it supposed to make you happy?" You questioned laying in bed later that night. Restless, you tossed and turned in bed, wondering what he would've said if you said yes. Would he have come to apologize? Would things have taken a different turn? It was impossible to know for sure, and that uncertainty gnawed at you.
Tired of tossing and turning, you reached for your phone on the nightstand and powered it on. The screen illuminated, and you found yourself staring at the list of blocked contacts. The name "Jake" stood out, a stark reminder of what you had done earlier. With a mix of curiosity and hesitation, you tapped on Jake's blocked contact and selected the option to unblock him.
When you did you were met with messages coming in. However it was one that stood out.
"Can you let me in?"
Delivered just a few seconds before you unblocked him. As you stared at the message from Jake that came through just moments after unblocking him, your heart started pounding in your chest. A rush of conflicting emotions surged through you. You knew you shouldn't have unblocked him, but there he was, trying to reach you again.
Rushing out of bed, you stood in front of your door. The very same door which he stood on the other side of. Your hand hovered over the doorknob, uncertain of what to do next. Part of you wanted to ignore him, pretend you hadn't seen the message, and leave things as they were. But another part of you, the part that still held on to the memories and the hope for closure, was tempted to open the door.
Taking a deep breath, you decided to face him. Maybe it was time to confront the past and get the answers you needed to move on. Slowly, you turned the doorknob and opened the door to find Jake standing there, looking anxious and nervous. Now that he was standing in front of you it felt like the walls had started to crumble. The tears you had held back for god knows how long finally feel as you jumped into his arms.
In that moment, everything felt calm as you let Jake hold you. No words were spoken as you soon lay embraced in his arms in the comfort of your once 1 person bed. As much as you wanted to hear an apology or something from him but at this very moment, you needed nothing but his comfort. One part of you couldn't help but be angry with yourself for answering the door. The other part of you just couldn't let him go.
Maybe it was stupid of you to do so. Because once this was over it would be back to the way it was. You apologize and then somehow it would turn to arguing, and screaming at each other. Leaving one another crying and sitting in a pile of tears and heartbreak only for you to get back together and do it all over again. Just like you had months prior. Nothing was going to change if you didn't stop it. But sadly you couldn't. Because you just couldn't stay away.
