Alone *UNDER CONSTRUCTION*

Chapter Seventeen: Snowflakes

SEVERAL HOURS LATER

My brother, Anthony Suarez, is dead.

Snowflakes slowly drift down from the heavens as I sit there on the rough ground in the cold, feeling the chilling breeze rush through my dark hair and nip at my cheeks and ears. I haven't moved a muscle since it happened, the pistol resting on the ground just a few feet away from me. My eyes feel sore from crying, the tears which were shed now nothing but a memory.

His body lay sprawled on the ground directly in front of me, his eyes still open, staring up at the dark sky above him. I just sit there, staring at my dead brother, his neck and shoulder completely coated with a crimson red. His skin has gone pale, and a bullet hole lay implanted in the middle of his forehead. My freezing hands are covered with his blood, shaking.

I tried to stop the bleeding. I tried. But I failed.

My whole body is trembling now. Not just from the cold, but from Anthony dying in my arms.

Suddenly, I feel something slowly building up inside of me. I don't know if it's sadness, or anger, or whatever but it just feels like a huge fire is building up until its big enough to consume everything in its path. I clench my fists, my knuckles turning white. I then I realize out what it really is.

Rage.

I scream at the sky, releasing all of the anger that was building up inside of me. I scramble to my feet, and I start ferociously kicking the car. I don't care if a fucking walker can hear me, I just need to break something. As I continue beating at the vehicle, I realize that it's not enough.

I need something to throw.

I spot a large stone near the front tire and grab it. I step back, and I hurl it at the driver's window. The impact shatters the glass, and the pieces go flying everywhere. A few small fragments hit my face, possibly breaking the skin, but I don't care. It's still not enough. There's just so much rage inside me that I need to release. I want to hurt something.

I grab the hammer near my backpack and then begin smashing in every window of the car.

Each swing of the hammer helps just a little bit, hearing the pieces of glass shower onto the ground below.

After I'm done, there's remnants glass everywhere.

I'm out of breath, and my arm's a little sore, but it was worth it. I drop to the ground, feeling the adrenaline of the ordeal fade away, and resume crying.

Not just for Anthony, but for everything that's happened.

The woman at the rest stop.

Grace and Jesse.

Mom and Dad.

Mom and Dad.

The first two people who I lost when all this started. I don't want to talk about them right now, though. I wipe the tears from my face with my jacket sleeve, and I just sit there like I did before. 

Another long while passes, and the sun starts to dip toward the horizon, slowly taking away all of the daylight that was left. I guess I need to start setting up camp here. I climb onto my feet, staring at Anthony's body. I can't stand to see him like that, so I cover him with a spare blanket from his backpack.

I toss my backpack into the minivan along with my hammer. I gather some sticks and dry leaves (which were difficult to find) and I light a fire, desperately trying to shield it from the winter breeze. For now, the snow has stopped falling, but it could start again anytime. The breeze is so cold that it makes my teeth chatter, so I do my best to bundle up in a blanket. If this is what the winter is going to be like from now on, this is going to suck.

Tomorrow, I'm going to continue back on my way to Woodford. I have to.

For Anthony.