Extra Credit / / Eddie Pilikian

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    Eddie stepped outside to smoke a cigarette as I laid naked in my bed.  I willingly gave my virginity to Eddie Pilikian.  Normally I would feel humiliated and pathetic by that, but I'm more pissed off by how much I liked it.

I didn't even like it in the sense that it felt good, because it didn't. It hurt like hell. But I liked how close it made me feel to Eddie. I liked how I was giving him something I hadn't given to anyone and could never give to anyone again.

       Somehow it didn't bother me that he couldn't wipe his stupid smirk off his face. So full of pride in what he was doing.  I've never felt so wanted before, so lusted after.  I'm sure Eddie could tell, and he most definitely will use it against me in some future argument, but I couldn't care less right now.

I yawned as I heard the doorknob twist, I turned my head to see Eddie walking in.

"You look like shit." He chuckled at my sweaty fucked-out state.

"You always look like shit."  I clapped back.

     He smiled while walking over and lightly hitting me with a pillow.  It was bizarre to think I barely knew Eddie just weeks ago, and he already got me in bed.  God, what is Pilikian doing to me?

He sat down beside my legs and stared at me. Just lost in his thoughts. I stared back as this went on for a few minutes. It seemed Eddie was trying to come up with something say, maybe something reassuring or comforting, but I don't need that. The silence of us just soaking each other in is more than enough to soothe me.

But he came up with something to say after all, "I didn't force that upon you, right? Like you wanted that too, right?"

"Of course I wanted it, I would've told you to get the fuck out if I didn't." I giggled at how true my statement was, but Eddie sat silent.

"Right. That sounds like something you'd do." He rubbed my knee over the sheets, then continued, "Sometimes my old man will force it on my mom, so I didn't know if I did that to you."

        "What do you mean?" 

        "I don't know.  Maybe I'm more like him than I know.  I don't wanna do the stuff that he does to my mom, to you.  Subconsciously or not."

"You didn't force anything on me. I promise." I whispered out the last part as I sat up and covered my chest with the comforter.

      Eddie pulled me in for a long soft kiss.  The strong taste of fresh cigarettes on his tongue making its way onto mine. 

       He pulled away but held my face in his hands, "You can only love what you got while you got it." 

       I frowned, "What?"

      "It's from Winn Dixie.  I read the whole thing after I ran away 'cause I couldn't get you off my damn mind.  I guess it was my way of tryin' to cope with it. And after I read that part, I realized I can't love you if I don't have you, can I?"

My obviously shocked expression made him laugh. "Well I didn't actually read it, Danny read it to me, if that's what you're so shocked about." He wrapped his arms around my blanket covered figure and pulled me onto his lap.

"Do you want me as bad as I want you Hazlett?"

"Yes." I squeaked. This was all very out of character for Eddie. I didn't know he could be so damn romantic when he wanted to be.

"I'd marry you tomorrow if you asked me to."  Eddie brushed his fingers along my collar bone, "Or if you gave me really good head."

       I smacked his arm and acted all offended.  Even though I found it pretty funny. 

       "Wait.  What are you gonna do about the police? And you still never told me how you got here."  I panicked as reality finally made its way back to me.

"The cops already found me. They couldn't do shit about it 'cause there was no actual evidence I did anything. All they had was that I knew a drug dealer personally. They got nothin' on me."

"But I saw on the news that you're wanted." I gave him a confused glance.

"Late broadcast or somethin'. I'm clean baby."  He pecked my lips and hugged me tight.

"If you're lying to me I'm gonna kick your ass."

"I swear on Winn Dixie's grave that I'm not lyin'."

"Can you stop bringing up Winn Dixie for two seconds?" I'm starting to regret showing him that book.

"Sorry, sorry." He chuckled, "We should get out of here though, I just heard your mom pull back into your driveway."

      "Oh shit." I hurriedly stood up and threw on my clothes.  I didn't care if she wasn't even in the house yet, there was no way I was going to let her see what Eddie and I have been doing. 

      "Alright chill out.  Let's head out the back and bolt for it."

And that's what we did.