My lifesaver

1: Ella

Here I am sitting on the train on my way to see my therapist for the first time. I was obliged by my parents after they found out I self-harmed. I know it's not right to do it but it gave me some peace in my life. My life is like chaos. It is time for my finals but despite how much I have learned I still don't get straight A's. It is not that I can't do it, it is my anxiety that leaves me blacked out. I was reading my favorite book when I arrived at the station. I get out and have an half hour left to find the clinic where I have my appointment. I can take the bus and I'll be there in 10 minutes, but I decided to walk. While walking I realized how beautiful it was outside, the sun was shining and everyone seemed happy. It is the hospital where I normally go when there is something wrong. But normally I would never walk there so it was a little adventure. I found myself standing in front of a cute little cafe. I need to remember this place and come back later.

After waiting for a few minutes my therapist calls my name. My therapist is a lovely woman and I think it is right that my parents send me here. I already learned a lot about myself and how I can improve my mental health. We talked about how I can stop self-harm and be way more positive about my own body. We made a plan about how I can handle certain things and we concluded that I need to have an appointment every week. I hope she can help me find my peace back in a good way and not with bad habits.

After my appointment, I decided to walk back and stop by that cute little cafe. It was beautiful from the inside, with plants and books everywhere. There were a few people but it was not overfilled, it was a lovely peaceful place. I found a chair near the window and ordered a coffee. I put on my headphones with my favorite music and grabbed my book, which I always bring with me cause you never know when you have time to read and start reading. I kinda lost track of time but that doesn't matter. It is good to relax more and take some time for myself. I think I'll come back here every week and have a relaxing moment, I love it here. When I am reading I forget my surroundings until my phone rings. It is my mother calling me where I was and why I wasn't at home. Oh shit I need to hurry it is past 5 pm. As I am packing my bag to leave I see a boy staring at me. Why would he be staring at me? There is nothing wrong with me, right?