metulji - jan peteh

Slightly Sexual Footage

'Tell me if you're uncomfortable at any point. I don't want you to feel that way.' Jan assured me as we prepared for the first shot. He had me pressed up against a wall, ready to aggressively make out with me the moment the cameras started rolling. I could feel my body preparing to feel his touch, tingling with anticipation, tensing with avidity.

It felt like we were just stood there forever; my arms wrapped around his neck, his hips and knee keeping me in place, with hands on the wall either side of my face. Yes, it was practically a prison, yet it felt so freeing. Refreshing.

Eventually, the cameraman began to count down from 10. We made final adjustments to our posture; I shut my eyes and let myself relax as he leaned in closer to me, his scent gracing my senses and his warm exhalation intensifying along my collarbone. 'Good luck.' he whispered almost seductively into my right ear, causing me to bite my lip gently and tilt my head upwards.

'Take One.' the director announced, as Jan finally closed the abyss between us, which had been so small yet so large all at the same time. I allowed his tongue to enter my mouth, our passion taking us deeper than anything that could have been achieved with an actress. He completed me; we fuelled each other's devotion, adding coals to an already roaring flame. Removing one of his hands from the wall behind me, he wrapped it into my hair, somehow managing to bring me even closer despite our already interlocked state. He ended the first kiss, so quickly pulling me into a new one, allowing me a scarcely a moment to gasp for breath, before we plunged into each other again. Pressing our foreheads together, the sweat that was beginning to bead on his forehead transferred to mine, heating the moment. His lips gently caressed mine as the kiss became less frantic, more relaxed, less like we were acting and more like we were just a normal couple, which we pretty much were. My head spun endlessly with all sorts of feelings.

Until we broke for air.

'And, scene.' someone shouted from across the room. Ringing began in my ears, almost blocking out the words I was hearing; dizziness destroying me more than Jan had.

'Jesus.' the cameraman exclaimed, rewatching the film on the preview screen while snapping his fingers. 'That was great. More of that.'

How could I complain?

We repeated the scene a few times in different locations around the room; sometimes with his hands around me, or on my face. The atmosphere calmed gradually after that first scene, becoming more loving than desperate. It took us practically half an hour of almost straight kissing to get the footage that was needed. To say I was acting would be a false statement - everything I had done was so genuine, so real, from the moment our mouths collided to the moment we broke away, half-passed out. All of my actions were met with praise; the director clasped his hands together in delight every time we cut the scene.

'Now, you two, on the bed.' he gestured, mainly at the huge king-size mattress in the centre of the room. 'This is where the magic happens. We want chemistry, lust, everything you've already delivered, but so much stronger. Let it come alive.'

I nodded, looking at Jan, who was still smiling brightly at the crew. 'Lokvanj, are you feeling okay? You look red.' he asked, squeezing my hand lightly.

'I'm a little nervous.' I admitted, feeling my palms become damp with sweat.

'Water?' he called out to nobody in particular. The member of the crew closest to the mini-fridge opened it, selecting a brand-new bottle and bringing it to me. I didn't want to admit that I wasn't thirsty - there were other reasons behind my anxieties that I wasn't too keen to share.

'We will take it as slowly as you need.' he comforted as I took a few sips from the bottle to be polite, and his words were enough for me to muster up the courage to set the water down on the bedside table and lie down on the mattress. It throbbed with my heartbeat, which intensified the closer Jan got to me. I imagine that even a professional would have felt vulnerable in this position, as the cameras edged closer, the shadows of the small crowd covering me like a thick fog.