metulji - jan peteh

Back at Home

I had toyed with the idea of staying a few times, but it just didn't feel right. However little respect I had left for Jan, I didn't want to take up space in his apartment. So, I did the mature thing and left.

'Here's my number. Message me when you're home safe.' Kris said gently, handing me a small slip of paper before helping me into the car. I was a total mess; mascara ran maniacally down my cheeks, before falling off them and staining my top a deep black. Once we'd stepped out of the comfort of the apartment block and into the cold, I had begun to shake again, the tears that remained on me now causing my face to feel freezing.

'Here's my number. Message me when you're home safe.' Kris said gently, handing me a small slip of paper before helping me into the car.

Those words made my heart sink even further.

'Lilia? Are you okay?'

He checked his phone and I watched as he fell deeper into the bench, frustrated that he didn't have time to explain himself. Knowing that we were about to part, he hastily pulled a pen from his pocket and used his teeth to rip a receipt in half, jotting something down from his phone. Once he was done and had read it over, he handed it to me.

It was just a piece of paper full of numbers.

'Maths? Really?' I questioned. Surely not? There was no way that he had spent this whole night with me to top it off with some homework.

'Don't tell me you don't know what a phone number is either.' he laughed, and then suddenly became serious when he saw that I was deadpan.

'It's a phone number, Lilia.' he stated.

'Yours?'

'No, the taxi man's.'

My face fell further.

'Of course it's mine, Lilia.'

My cheeks flushed when he said my name. He was just so gorgeous - the way he fixed his hair when he spoke, the warm smile he gave to show he was listening - that I couldn't contain my excitement when he spoke exclusively to me.

A horn sounded in the distance, spoiling the moment, and I knew it was time to go. I stood, practically fell into him, and then turned off towards the car.

'Lilia?'

I turned back.

'Call me when you're home safe.'

'Lilia?' He repeated. That's odd, I thought. This isn't part of the memory.

'Lilia?' Kris' voice cut through my reminiscence, snapping me out of it, and I turned up to face him. My eyes were glass; one wrong move and they'd break, melting into liquid that would stream down out of them. I was careful not to adjust my vision too much, in fear that I'd release an involuntary tear.

'You've got everything, haven't you?' he asked calmly, standing in the gap between the doorcand the seat where I was, blocking any sun that remained behind him. It was just setting now, reminding me of the end of not only the day, but this little chapter in my life, that had brought me so much joy in such short a time.

'I've got everything, yes.' I struggled to say, choking back any wetness that attempted to coat my eyes. I knew that even if I had left something behind, it was too late to go back.

'If you need anything, call me.'

'I will.' I paused, thinking of what to say; sensing the taxi driver was getting impatient and knowing that these words were my last towards him. I would message him to tell him when I arrived back at the house, but no more after that.