Short Words of the Mind

You're Losing Me... The Short Story

"I... I don't understand," He said.

I looked down to the floor to shield him from seeing the tears pouring out of my eyes, "I know you don't."

"Baby... what's going on? What's wrong?" He asked, stepping towards me.

"How can you say you love someone you can't tell is dying?" I asked through my tears.

"Babe..." He started before I cut him off again.

"I've sent you so many signals, Joe. My nails are bitten down to the quick! You refused to admit that we're a dying relationship... sick..." I stopped to take a breath and not let my voice crack. "I'm so tired... even for a phoenix who's been rising from the ashes. I... think you've just dealt the final blow." I said.

"No. Baby... please," He said moving to hug me.

"Every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes, Joe. How did you think we're fine?" I asked, moving away from him.

"Tee, I just thought that was you playing around with me. Baby, please," He said, dropping his arms to his side.

But that conversation wasn't real. He wouldn't fight for me. "Forget it. We'll talk after the party tonight," I said, headed up to our bedroom to cry and get ready for the party. I quickly locked the bedroom door and slid down it. I grabbed my face and just let myself cry. How could he not see? He's been so distant and cold. So unfeeling and loving... we've been this way to each other. I want him to fight for me. I want to scream - "Do something, Babe, say something!" but he would just let me walk out of there if I really wanted to.

I slipped into a simple black dress and heels. I did my makeup to look like I wasn't crying all morning and I was well rested and happy, very happy. I made my way downstairs to see him on his phone, smiling at whoever he was texting. I cleared my throat and smiled at him. Maybe he'll change and love me more now... maybe he'll compliment me and make me love him again. "Ready?" I asked.

He nodded, checked his phone one last time, smiled at whatever was on the screen, looked at me to make sure I didn't see (and I played dumb like I hadn't), and put his phone in his pocket. He walked out the door without even passing me a second glance. He really was losing me... and I was losing him. I got into the car - him in the driver's seat and me in the passenger seat. I grabbed his hand and brought it up to my lips in hopes to feel and ignite some spark. There was a single butterfly in my stomach and then it disappeared. "I might spend a lot of time with Emma tonight. She's going through a rough patch," he said. I nodded and forced a fake smile. Of course he was. He's always hanging around her now.

"That's fine. I'm sure Sel or Blake will be there," I said.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The drive wasn't much longer when we pulled into the long driveway leading up to a beautiful home. I got out and waited for him to grab my hand and walk with me into the building; however, he stared at me as though he was wondering why I was waiting. He sighed and grabbed my hand and dragged me into the house. There was still a large, dumb, giddy smile because he was holding my hand. He reached for it first. But once we got inside, he dropped it and left me standing there in the middle of the room alone. I made my way through the large masses of people and found Blake and Ryan.

"Wine?" Blake asked, pouring me a glass. I nodded and swallowed it all down with one gulp. "Woah, everything okay? Where's Joe?" She asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I don't know where he is. We got in and he left me in the middle of the living room. Nothing said. Am I holding onto a relationship that isn't there?" I asked her.