𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘𝐁𝐄𝐄, destiel

chapter eight: one more kiss for old times

blue eyes opened as he heard a knock on his door. he looked disorientedly around him until he realized he was in his room, just then remembering why he was there, but still not remembering when he dozed off. he stood up slowly, dragging his feet through his room until he got to his door.

he rubbed his eyes and tried to fix his hair before opening it, expecting his mom to be there to scold him. but the person standing in front of him wasn't his mom, and his eyes widened to the view.

"what are you doing here?" he let out, blinking a few times before staring at the brunet. dean shifted nervously on his spot, then rubbed the back of his neck. "checking on you."

"it's your brother's wedding party, you should be there–"

"i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be," dean quickly said. cas shut his mouth close, taken back by his words. "cas, why did you leave?"

his friend asked then, but he still couldn't talk. dean's expression shifted with too much worry, maybe a hint of guilt in his features as well, and cas didn't know what to say to that.

"cas..."

"because i can't do it," he let out, shaking his head and taking a step back. "i can't act like things are normal like they never changed and we're the same friends we were before, not like you do."

"that's not what i wanted to do either," dean quickly said, still looking like a kicked puppy. "what did you want, then?" cas asked, after a second or two.

the brunet gestured to the bed, silently asking if they could sit down, and the brunet moved to the side to let him in. they were quiet as they sat down, and stayed for a couple of moments, before the boy shifted slightly to look at him better.

"can we talk?" he asked. cas hesitated, but finally nodded. he still wasn't ready, he still was afraid that the conversation wouldn't be a good one, but he didn't want to avoid it any longer. not talking was always their biggest mistake, and maybe april was right, he would never get answers if he didn't ask.

for a moment, nothing happened, they stayed just as silent as dean seemingly gathered his thoughts. the brunet took a deep breath, nervously bouncing his leg.

"fuck, cas," he breathed out. "i should've asked when you were coming home and i should've come to see you that same day, i–i should've talked to you when i came here yesterday," he said. "i've been coming home every break i've had for the past year and a half hoping to find you, but you weren't coming anymore. which is my fault too because i was the first to break our promise. but i just–i should've gone to your school, i knew i couldn't just text you about it but i could've gone to your school and looked for you and–"

"dean." cas' hand moved to the boy's face, cupping his cheeks. he rubbed at his skin softly, and the brunet relaxed at the gesture. "breathe, you're rambling."

dean looked somewhat embarrassed, and still just as anxious, but less tense. he nodded, and cas couldn't help but smile faintly at the knowledge that despite everything, he still knew how to calm his best friend down.

"sorry." dean chuckled awkwardly, then placed his own hands over the shorter ones. he removed them from his face, but didn't let go of them, holding them tightly. cas didn't try to pull away. "i'm a little nervous, in case you didn't notice."