6 years, 4 months and forever

8. Endlessly

"Omg Crofty, there's a woman running down the pit lane towards the reck", as you saw the red and orange metal hit each other disappear through the rain and continue to roll through the air, it was like you were there again, lay across Charles' lap as him and your father were talking about the safety car, it was hard to remember exactly what happened as the second you saw his car leave the track you pulled your closed as Charles' gripped you closer to him, you do however remember your mothers scream, it replays on your head over and over again however from now on you will only ever hear your own blood curdling scream as you witness the red metal scatter. "Mon amour the cars smoking please go with the fire Marshall's whilst I get this streaming wheel out", you put your hand over his "I'm not going anywhere until your here to come with me". Love is a funny feeling, it's a blessing and curse to feel everything so very deeply, for one person to be the reason you laugh or smile or even cry, you knew you loved him when you couldn't even hate him for breaking your heart, he reminded you what butterflies felt like, it's him. It was always fucking him. You couldn't describe it anymore, he is the only one you'll ever want, you belong with him. He is your home. You look at him and somehow you see 50 years from now on the front porch of some old house in the middle of no where and you'd be together. You need him. He is the only thing that matters. You love him endlessly.

After Charles finally managed to free himself from the wreck of the car he climbed over the wreck through you over his shoulder and carried you to the barrier where he passed you over to a fire Marshall and told him to make sure you got back to the Ferrari garage, 20 minutes you waited for him, the longest 20 minutes of your lifetime. "Angel I think the world knows about us now and I don't think lando appreciates it" Charles said as he approached the doorway of his drivers room, you jumped up at him nearly your head in this neck and wrapping your legs around his waist, "oh char thank god your okay, please never do that to me again" you said holding onto him for a little bit longer than normal, "trust me I'll try not to angel, but the team want me to go to hospital for a check so can u drive me there please"- "ofc let me grab my things from McLaren and see lando" as you walked out of the garage you a lot to think about like how on earth you were going to explain this to lando, when you reached the garage you were informed lando was seeing the on site doctor so you decided to right him a note...

Dear lan...
I really hope your okay, it would honestly kill me of anything happened to you but most of all I want you to know I love you I really do, sometimes I think I love you more than myself . I would walk the earth twice over to see you smile and I know you love me just as much. This is a conversation I never thought we'd have and it's a conversation we should have in person but I feel like I owe you an explanation. Charles is the first thought I have in the morning, I wonder if he's woken up yet and is in the gym training or if he's stood around eating banana pancakes, on Jules birthday he's the only person that makes me smile, that makes me believe he's looking down over me, he loves me endlessly. We have that let's sit up and talk all night love or that's go and play golf love. Sometimes a soulmate doesn't have to be lover, sometimes it's your best friend. And until the very end you'll always be my best friend through it all...
Lots of love Madlinè Ameliè Maria Bianchi xo

It wasn't a long letter but it get your point across, you grabbed your bag and made your way to the hospital with Charles, after he was cleared perfectly fine by the doctors he decided to drive you home, his hand glued to your leg the whole time like if he let you go you'd run away, you could see al the marks along Charles neck, a reminder he was the one person who could bring back your passion when it had been dead for months. No one new if it would be different this time, or if it would end in heart break all over again but you owed it to your self to try one more time just to see. "What do u want from me mom amour", you looked at Charles almost afraid of the questions he was asking, "what do you mean Charles"- "how can I be better this time mads", you sighed knowing you only wanted one thing from him "I want to feel loved Charles, I want you to come home every weekend and not be able to keep your hands off me, to feel like your number one"- "you always my number one mon amour but I was scared of losing you or even worse leaving you alone so I pushed you away", you kissed his cheek "I know char but I needed you" his eyes stayed fixed on the road "I want to move back into the apartment and I want a baby"...