6 years, 4 months and forever

2. Lover

you woke up with your head on Charles
Chest, his hand still wrapped in your hair, his hands holding your waist as close to his body as he could possibly get you both and your breathing matching each others permanently. You knew Charles wouldn't be staying forever he had a life you no longer fit into and regardless of his confessions last night he was going to leave again at some point so best not to get your hopes up, but his smell is intoxicating and unavoidable. Charles is that Sunday morning stay in bed till noon kind of lover. That lose ourselves between the sheets kind of lover. That double climax let me taste you again kind of lover. But he's always the type to run away when things get to difficult for him. Him and Jules were so similar in every way even they way they spoke but that's the thing about having your best friend ripped away from you at such a young and vulnerable time in your life, it becomes so hard to accept that sometimes we can't control who leaves our lives whether we want to or not. Somewhere between you waking up and the thoughts of Charles and Jules and heartbreak, Charles had woken up and was watching you observe every feature of his face. "Well good morning to you too mon amour" he giggled. Oh god how his morning voice echoed through your body like it was meant for only you to hear, he squeezed his green eyes shut, his watercolour eyes, your favourite feature of them all. "I thought I told you to stop calling me that" you answered back whilst trying to free your self from his grip, he held on tighter ensuring you couldn't leave him "Madelinè stay please".

After 30 minutes Charles convinced you to stay at home today so you emailed your boss and told him you required the day off and went into the bathroom to shower and freshen up. You left the bathroom 20 minutes later in a white sundress covered in blue flowers. "Wow angel you look as stunning as ever" Charles was dressed in grey tracksuit pants but still hasn't managed to find his T-shirt but he was stood making pancakes for you both so you took the seat opposite him at the island. He lent across the counter and pushed a glass of orange juice towards you as he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and kissed your forehead. You spent hours that morning talking about life since you both split, the tone went quite and Charles sighed "remember when you promised me you would marry me when we were six" you laughed "I do remember Charles, I always remember a year later Jules married us outside the chapel on the hill and he called me Mrs leclerc for months after", "I remember when Jules started travelling for races he made me promise him I'd watch a movie with you every Sunday morning before the race whilst we ate pancakes because that was your thing", a year fell, "I remember how every night when mum and dad were arguing he used to tuck me into bed and tell me that one day he was going to take me, Henry and Jaques away to live with him in Italy and he used to kiss me on my forehead and tell me I deserved to be loved by someone completely by someone who would never leave", your voice broke. "I remember before he got on the plane to his last ever Grand Prix he asked me if I loved you and I said with my whole heart I want to give her the world and he made me promise I would love you forever and always keep you safe" he kissed you on your forehead again. You and Charles where 18 when Jules passed. Losing your brother was the hardest thing to ever go through but Charles sat in the hospital with you every Saturday night whilst you silently cried into his chest, watching your brother disappear destroyed you almost as much as the abuse you had to watch your mother endure over the years as a result of your fathers behaviour.

Suddenly, your walk down memory lane was interrupted by the ringing of Charles' phone which was directly in-front of you on the counter. You were immediately drawn to the profile picture with was a petite brunette girl sat on Charles lap on Charles family boat, the very boat you both found your 15 year old selves on after a few to many secret wines under the deck that resulted in you both losing your virginity, the contact name read charlotte❤️ , Charles noticed you taking all the information in and quickly silenced his phone leaving it face down as he stared into his breakfast, "who is she Charles" he sighed as he desperately tried to avoid eye contact, "Charles who the fuck is she" you shouted standing up as you spoke "this was all a mistake Charles" he mimicked your movement standing up to grab your arm "please mon amour please" you couldn't help but feel a rage build up in you "oh Charles, you didn't come back here to love me did you, you came here to prove I still need you didn't you?" He shook his head defeatedly, "well I don't need you Charles I was perfectly fine on my own, so go on do what Charles leclerc does best and leave, go back to your perfect life, does she even know what happened on that boat Charles, I can't believe you, you don't deserve the chance to fight for us Charles you never did". Charles knew he had lost you again so he quickly collected his stuff and left you sat on the end of your bed in your own world. It wasn't until a few hours after Charles left you decided it was time to FaceTime Lando and find out what he and Emma had planned for the Norris twins birthday, in the end he finally convinced you to visit spa for the weekend as there party was taking place on the Thursday night. Eventually, Lando convinced you to meet him at the gym for a session to help you get your mind off Charles. He was so thoughtful and considerate, Jules would love him. Just as Lando left to lift weights your mother started ringing your phone "hello Madelinè is that you" she was crying "yes mama it's me is everything okay" her crying got louder "no maddy, Jaques has been in a accident whilst he was out driving with Arthur his cars spun but luckily they found him and he's in the hospital now", this was exactly how it happened with Jules.

Yours and Charles mothers had Jules and Lorenzo and similar times, then my mother had Henry followed by you Charles which was shortly followed by Jaques and Arthur. Lorenzo and Henry always managed to find some way to occupy your mothers with books and art whilst the rest of the boys loved to race. The karting days were the best, Jaques has always loved mechanics more than racing so he used to build all of the Boys carts with meanwhile you were always somewhere near them with your camera taking pictures or doing fake interviews (destined for media at a young age). Since your mama and papas divorce your were no longer in contact with your father and it become more difficult to see mama with her health struggles and with Jules passing and your dislike towards Henry you only really had Jaques to talk to.

You quickly grabbed your things and started running through the gym as fast as your legs would carry you, you fiddled around trying to find Arthur's number in your phone to call him quickly enough to figure out whether or not he was also hurt in the crash but of course he never answered, some where between phoning Arthur and getting half way to the hospital you ended up doing 94mph in a 30mph and had managed to misdial Charles. It was g u tok
Charles finally spoke you actually acknowledged he was even connected to the cars Bluetooth. "Angel" he sounded just like Jules, "mads I don't know what's wrong but listen to me love you need to slow down and try to stop crying because you couldn't crash. Ok and we don't want that do me mom amour so just breathe baby I'm here okay coke on let's focus on the road".  It was like he was magical he managed to calm you down almost instantly and you eventually managed to get the words out to tell him what had happened, "char Jaques was in an accident on his way to meet art" but before you could tell him where you were or what the plan of action was you heard another woman call from the living room "come back to bed please Charles it nearly midnight" you quickly hung up the phone and kept driving at the pace Charles had originally encouraged. Luckily Jaques had only broken his leg and would be back home in a few days but with mamas hip it was decided you would be the one to stay with him for the night and at 12:43am you decided to call Lando in hopes of some comfort.