Venus

peace

The moment he looked at me was the same moment my heart stopped beating and my lungs hesitated in their function.

I saw a dark sky full of stars connecting into beautiful figures;

a forest on an autumn night shining in all the different shades of brown thanks to the moon's luminescence;

a cloth stained brown because of the blood that had dried down on it's flowery pattern.

I saw peace.

I felt peace.

My eyes connected to his.
My soul wrapped around his.
My lips longing for the touch of his.

The moment his lips parted and a low tone came out was the moment my chest began aching in such a soothing pain.

The voices in my mind stopped talking, crying and screaming. They were silent.

The harmful pictures stopped rushing through my thoughts. They were gone.

The anxious state I found myself in so often stopped existing for that exact moment, ease and easiness taking over my body.

I was feeling. In a good way.

It was peaceful.

I felt peace.

»I like quiet.«

I did, too.

Never had I ever felt it, but it seemed so healing.
He seemed so healing.
Healing for my broken heart, for my rotten soul.

He made me feel peace.
He was the first one.

I felt peace.

Nevertheless, while my head drowned in quietude, worry circulated in my veins caused by the way I was affected by his fragrance.

The way my whole body relaxed as his alluring scent flowed into the last of my clear nerves, it was alarming.

The way I tried taking in as much as I could, being terrified that he would stop wearing this addictive aroma anytime soon, it was an anomaly.

The way I could recognize him in a crowd of men with eyes closed and hands tied behind my back, it was so, so frustrating.

I couldn't describe it even if I wanted to.
I only knew that it was pulling me deeper into his spell.
I knew it was dangerous.

Little needles poking through my stomach.

Small knifes stabbing my chest.

Tiny swords slitting my throat.

It hurt more than I could've ever imagined.
It hurt more than anybody had told me. It poisoned me and left me to die.

Love is cruel;
Love is deadly;
Love is hatred, obsession, lust, disgust, void, fullness, peace, and most of all pain
;
But isn't the pain the beauty of it?

I hate my lover.

(I fr hate him)