Six Texting GroupChat

VII- Maria is a little confused

Maria is my favourite accidental agent of Chaos

[Tuesday 9:36am]

[On the Let The Chaos Commence chat]

QueenOfTheCastle: Catalina Trastamara de Aragon control your fucking girlfriend

TheSuperiorSpaniard: Oof that's a full name and a half

TheSuperiorSpaniard: also who is your girlfriend-

TheGoldOne: Anne...

TheSuperiorSpaniard: PERDÓN?????

TheSuperiorSpaniard: ESTÁS SALIENDO CON ANNE JODER BOLEYN?????

TheGoldOne: Maria....

WhatsAHusband: you've set her off

TheSideChick: she's screaming in Spanish

BoBosBestie: she's throwing books at me now

TheGoldOne: well.... Um anyway Anna what did Anne do this time?

QueenOfTheCastle: she's taken Cathy's coffee and Cathy and Jane are going absolutely insane

TheGoldOne: why is Jane going insane? I thought she was trying to stop her drinking coffee

QueenOfTheCastle: she's in simp mode

TheGoldOne: shit....

Mother: stop swearing Lina

KittyHoward: no punctuation-

QueenOfTheCastle: i knew it was bad but not this bad

KittyHoward: TAKE COVER

TheSideChick: what the actual fuck is happening

Mother: you'd do good to stop swearing as well

TheGoldOne: im out im gonna find Anne

Mother: good

[5 minutes pass]

KittyHoward: the silence in the house is deafening

QueenOfTheCastle: im coming

KittyHoward: are you bringing popcorn?

QueenOfTheCastle: yes

KittyHoward: I love you so much

TheSideChick: Ugh pda

KittyHoward: let me love my girlfriend

SleepIsForTheWeak: I'm pretty sure it's the other way around

KittyHoward: shhhh

SleepIsForTheWeak: I got coffee now but Jane took Anne somewhere and I'm a little scared that I'm gonna have to bail Jane out of prison.

QueenOfTheCastle: wanna join us with popcorn?

SleepIsForTheWeak: I don't wanna third wheel thanks

TheSuperiorSpaniard: this is confusing me that you're all dating each other

WhatsAHusband: don't act like you aren't a dating Bessie

SleepIsForTheWeak: SORRY??????

HeChoppedMyHeadOff: not sorry

HeChoppedMyHeadOff: I was summoned?

TheGoldOne: how on Earth did you survive the Seymour rage???

SleepIsForTheWeak: me :)

HeChoppedMyHeadOff: yes im very grateful now lets move on

SleepIsForTheWeak: anyway let's get back to the important question. MARIA IS DATING BESSIE????

TheSuperiorSpaniard: I'm as shocked about it as you are.

TheGoldOne: that doesn't make any sense Maria 🤦🏽‍♀️

SleepIsForTheWeak: I thought Bessie was straight... she said yesterday....

TheSideChick: surprise :) I was closeted until about 2 hours ago

WhatsAHusband: yeh sorry bout that

KittyHoward: does that mean Joan is dating Maggie?????

WhatsAHusband: ew no

BoBosBestie: I hate you for even suggesting it

HeChoppedMyHeadOff: demoted from bestie

BoBosBestie: WHY

HeChoppedMyHeadOff: you hate my baby cousin

BoBosBestie: fine I'm sorry I don't hate her

TheGoldOne: what the fuck just happened

Mother: language

TheGoldOne: English :)

HeChoppedMyHeadOff: pfffttttt F in the chat for Lina

QueenOfTheCastle: F

SleepIsForTheWeak: F

WhatsAHusband: F

TheSideChick: F

KittyHoward: F

TheSuperiorSpaniard: F

KittyHoward: we will miss you lina

QueenOfTheCastle: rip my wine bestie

Mother: You all act like I am actually going to kill her.

QueenOfTheCastle: you will kill someone someday

SleepIsForTheWeak: and it's gonna be Anne

TheGoldOne: it's just facts

Mother: maybe if you all did what you were asked and followed the rules

QueenOfTheCastle: BUT it means more fun for Cathy

KittyHoward: so really we're just doing her a favour

Mother: what does that even mean

SleepIsForTheWeak: every time you're angry you always like to channel it through something else...

Mother: my garden?

TheSuperiorSpaniard: I think she means Angry Sex ™️

TheGoldOne: I-

QueenOfTheCastle: THE BABY DID NOT NEED TO HEAR THAT

TheSuperiorSpaniard: WHAT BABY?!?!?

KittyHoward: YEAH ANNA WHAT BABY

QueenOfTheCastle: you're my baby :(

TheGoldOne: may the Lord save us all from what's about to go down

TheSuperiorSpaniard: what is?

[An hour later]

TheSuperiorSpaniard: Hello?

[Two hours later]

TheSuperiorSpaniard: oh shit

[An hour later]

TheSuperiorSpaniard: save me

TheGoldOne: go home you can escape

SleepIsForTheWeak: yea we're trapped

TheSuperiorSpaniard: I can't...

HeChoppedMyHeadOff: why....?

TheSuperiorSpaniard: I'm in their wardrobe

HeChoppedMyHeadOff: oh shit

SleepIsForTheWeak: Language