oh, i know that guy

let me sing my guitar at you

The next few stories will be a collection of random tinder/dating app "dates." The first one is amidst the global COVID pandemic. I was living in a small coastal town on the east coast when I rengaged with Tinder. Tinder and I have a hate-hate relationship. Sure, it's pretty easy to get laid on there but the quality is pretty sub-par most of the time. I had deleted it approximately six times before this instance. But the world was shut down and how else is a girl supposed to get laid? It wasn't my finest moment. I should have just stayed locked up in my house, tbh. 

Anyways, I matched with this guy. He was about a 7 and so am I so I thought what the heck, why not? The world wasn't all the way shut down anymore but it was the summer and my schedule was more wideopen. I was workning my second job but those shifts were ony a few days a week and 7 hours, at most. So I got bored and was chatting away with this guy. He invited me to come over to his house so he could cook me a meal. I agreed. 

As the day was approaching, we were talking about what he should make me. I messaged something like "I don't really like uch seafood but other than that, I am not too picky." He offered to make me the squirrel from his freezer. I wish he were joking... and tell me why I still went to this guys house....

I turned down the squirrel and told him I would bring one of m meal kits and we could make that. He opted to pick me up at my house after work one day, I agreed. For a smart person, I am pretty dumb. He stopped by and picked me up but had to swing by the pet store to pick up rats for his snake. All the signs were there, I should have tucked and rolled out of the moving truck but I endured. When we got to his place, he fed his snake then excused himself to take a shower. Mind you, this is the first time we ever met, so when he returned to the room shirtless, it took everything in me to not laugh or run. 

Again, I endured. 

After we made dinner, we sat in the room and ate across from the smalled table I had ever seen. After dinner, luckily he had his shirt back on by then, he picked up a guitar and sat on the couch across from the tiny table I was still sat at. He preceded to play for me. To say it was extremely akward would be an understatement. I didn't know what to do, do I look directly at him? Do I clap at the end of each song? Swoon at his feet? I did none of those things. I made as little eye contact as possible and asked him to drive me home after he finished his third song. That drive was also awkward and thankfully I never heard from him again. 

A few weeks later a girl at work showed me his picture and asked if I had matched with him. After I said I did and told her about the guitar serenade she preceded to tell me that she slept with him and it was mediocre, at best. So I guess I dodged a bullet. Also, thank god I don't live in a small town anymore...