oh, i know that guy

that one emo guy

Picture this, an early twenty something, hanging out with a bunch of nineteen year old army wannabes after just leaving the army.. that was my life in 2007. I was newly single and sharing an apartment with a seventeen-year-old who I befriended in biology class. She was a transplant from Miami, kind of a genius and also in need of a safe place to stay. That is how we shared a one-bedroom apartment in Melbourne, Florida. It was actually a really great time. She was kind and fun and a determined student. She was also dating a guy in the local ROTC program at a different college. That is how I met the emo guy.

Most red-blooded millennial woman have had an emo phase, mine was not in the form of my own flippy bangs but rather a sensitive dark-haired boy who listened to way too much Anberlin and Bullet for my Valentine. In 2007, that girl I mentioned before had friended another girl who was dating a different ROTC boy and that is why we moved into a three-bedroom apartment together. We had cardboard furniture until the third girl moved in and brought her adult furniture with her. Ah, to be twenty again...

Back to the boy. I met him at one of these ROTC parties and I was immediately attracted to him, There was also another boy there but he'll get his own story later. That emo guy was rocking skinny jeans and a black t-shirt and I stayed up late into the wee hours talking to him. I knew I wanted to see him again so I did what any girl in 2003 did, I stalked him on Facebook and sent him a message on a messenger app, a la AOL Instant Messenger. 

We stayed up late in those first few days talking about emo music and scary movies. One night one of us mentioned 28 Days Later, next thing I knew I invited him over for a scary movie. Which, obviously, led to sex. Maybe that isn't obvious to you because you don't know me that well but I don't usually wait until the third date. I am a firm believer that if it feels right, do it. If it doesn't, then don't. I don't always listen to my instincts but on this one I did. We would often attend these parties, emo guy's apartment was a part of the connection of party houses.

After that first late night encounter, we had sex a few more times and it was really, really good. I was kind of obsessed, which will lead me to do a few things I am still ashamed of. One of those was encouraging his drinking so I could get laid. After a few weeks of talking he told me that he was not over his ex and that he didn't think we were a good idea. By this time, I knew I would be moving to California so I was ok (or so I thought) with continuing our fling "without feelings". He wasn't entirely comfortable with that so I encouraged his drinking to lower his inhibitions. Not my finest moment and one that still makes me feel really guilty. 

On one such occasion he had a little too much and while I was doing some of my best work.. he fell asleep! I still give him crap for that but I don't have hard feelings about it. LOL My obsession was real though. I visited California before I moved back there and took his sweater to wear with me everywhere-- what a weirdo! I loved the way it smelled and I liked pretending we were close. I can still picture that sweater and I still listen to some of the music he introduced me to. I also wrote a lot of really cringey poems to help get over him.  We remained in contact but I am not obsessed with him anymore... promise!