𝐁𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 | 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃

𝐈

"𝐏𝐎𝐏 goes the weasel..." I giggled to myself as i dragged my feet behind me through the stoney park, only cutting up my swollen feet more as i had no shoes.
I could not remember at what point i did loose my shoes, yet to me it didn't really make a difference.
I continued humming the tune to the nursery rhyme as my head twitched and my eyes closed at the thought of what i'd done to myself, what she'd done. I then began to laugh, loudly, anyone that could see me could probably guess where I was meant to be, not only because of my physical appearance and the dried blood around the multiple deep cuts over my arms and face, my ripped nightgown, the twitching, the singing, the laughing, i looked as though i was on drugs, yet i wasn't.
About three days ago I invited a boy to come to my house as we where at the stage of talking and wanting to start dating, yet it went terribly wrong, he took liberty on himself to give me alcohol then forced me to have sex with him. I am not in a good place in my life, i have been harming myself constantly for the past six months only taking small breaks when my skin would no longer bleed. But what he did to me made me so terrified, so scared of it ever happening again that she decided to come back, that's what scared me most. She is my other personality you could say, she comes out to protect me from having my mind hurt, yet the last time she took over my body, the first time, it went terribly wrong, she makes me feel numb so i can't feel anything, therefore i can't get hurt and i feel on top of the world no matter what, but last time...the voices they tricked her, they pretended to be satan, they told her that if i gave my other self to him-my normal self that is- that he'll help me and get me what i want, they told her that to do that i was to give him my blood, meaning i was to cut myself, but obviously this wasn't true, it wasn't him, and all she wanted to do was help me, so she made me do it...i did it every night for a full year. That's what lead to me getting addicted to self harm, and now, she's back, i feel like i can stop her though, stop her from getting tricked again, so she can do her true job as to help me and protect me from harm, yet i was so scared i tried to cut her out of me, that's when i started to hallucinate, then i was going to cut my eyes out and hoped that killed me, yet here i am, both eyes in tacked. I did try, but my mother came in and tried to get them off me, that's when she decided to drive me to the department of psychiatry, but i didn't want to go back, not again, so you know what i did? I jumped out the move car and ran, i tan as far as i could, as fast as i could. Now...two days later here i am, in a park far away from where i'd ever been before, i'd hitchhiked across one, maybe two states at least with no clue where i was, it was, well, gothic around here i could say, i'm from england originally so it kind of looked like the queens garden's or something.

I spat onto the floor before staring ahead of myself in the dark night. I was now by a pond with glittery water, almost white as covered in fog. I smiled.
"What am i doing here?" I questioned myself.
I did not miss my mother, nor anyone i had only been in American for maybe three months, didn't know anyone, mother was abusive, i didn't have a care in the world about anyone, i didn't love anyone or feel the need to have anyone love me.
As i tapped my thumb and index finger together, watching out over the water, i caught a glimpse of something or maybe someone in the corner of my eye.
Suddenly there was a scream from behind me. I snapped around only to see a odd looking man with a younger boy next to him, both howling with laughter as they help cigarettes between their lips, one dressed in a school uniform, the other in scrubs like he was the help at whatever estate the young boy looked to come from.
"What's a pretty lady like yourself doing here, hm?" The young boy gawked his eyes at me, stumbling closer as i did too, trying to get away from the water, scared he'd push me in.
I shot his an unsettling grin, widening my eyes as i looked between the two, "Walking..." I whispered, my voice like nails on a chalk bored, one that sounded to be from the undead, it echoed like the song of a siren.
The boy looked me up and down, returning the same unearthly energy as i gave him, "You are hurt, miss?" It was as if i stood before a mirror, he mirrored my smile, tilting his head.
"I'm fine, sir," I spat my words at him now, not eating sympathy from anyone.
"Well, you is on our grounds, mam, so you get away from here," The older man pulled a whip out from his belt before cracking it against the back of my legs.
I bit my bottom lip at the sudden pain, still staring up at the younger boy, his curly hair hanging over his dark eyes.
Fuck me.
"No, quint, well take her to jessel, maybe she can help out with her since no one else wants to be around here..." The boy whispered, almost as he was trying to hide something, "I'm Miles, that's Quint the stable boy, he's my friend,"
Miles...
I only nodded in response, following Miles as he trailed off in front of me, taking me back to Jessel I wasn't sure who that was weather it was his mother or something, devil knows.