A Whisper

Chapter 1

He was there, as he always was when I was in desperate need of him. I could feel him like a light breeze in the summer time. I could barely make out the outline of his beautiful body. I took a deep and needed breath, and just like that he was gone. I appreciated the pain, it made his presence stronger. I tried to blink, one of the simplest forms of movement, yet I couldn't. I tried harder to keep my breathing steady. He was gone; I would feel alive soon, and reality would come back to me. He comes and goes with my pain, and I'm truly grateful for him being there. I wrote for him, they were sweet words that warmed my heart. He was always in my thoughts, always with me. His smile was perfect, and the pure thought of him was worth every moment of the pain.

            I opened my eyes, but now I could no longer see him. My vision was blurred, but he was still there. There was always this longing feeling, because part of my mind knew he was never there. The thoughts made him real; the pain made him my reality. Sometimes I know he isn't there, but sometimes you couldn't convince me that he wasn't there. His bright blue eyes were unforgettable. His lips that spoke sweet, encouraging words kept me breathing.

            The doctors say I'm dying. My parents can't fathom why I'm still breathing, yet they don't know about him. He kept my soul happy. I could never physically see him, though I got slight glimpses. I often question why I suffer through this, but the conclusion I have always come to was, him. He is utterly my whole existence; for he keeps me alive. I'm not quite positive why he comes to me, and why he seems to push the air in and out of my lungs; for he owes me nothing. My doctor tells me he is only a figment of my imagination that my body creates to keep itself functioning, that he isn't truly there, but it is my body fighting death. I often believe him, for this man I see comes and goes, but with the pain surging through my body I am yet again reminded that he is always there. The pain strengthens my sight. Not many believe me; why should they for they don't understand, and their vision is blurred. I am diagnosed with Acute Porphyria. It is very rare, and difficult to diagnose.