A Whisper

Chapter 5

Ironically, boredom will be the one to kill me. Between the nausea and the sleepless nights, three days seems like an eternity. I am only getting worse, and there is no sign of him. My parents are convinced that television and books will make my imagination run wild and will only bring more stress. So I count the ceiling tiles and focus on well, not dying. Thoughts fill my mind, with nothing but him. Determined to get him off of my mind, and also the fact that I think my stomach is eating my brain, I go downstairs and eat. I look out the window and the time is right after sunset. After dinner, I look for Mom. She must be sleeping; it's been a long, rough couple days. She has taken care of me nights on end, and she deserves a rest. I go out on the porch. I've been locked in the house for so long I can't stand it anymore. Besides, I haven't had an attack since the hospital and I have yet to have one on the porch during nightfall. I sit on the porch swing. As I count the never ending amount of stars, suddenly I am reminded of him. My heart breaks and I can't seem to breathe. He left me. I was so grateful for him and he is now gone. There is an endless longing for his presence and I run. Off the porch into the woods, I run away from the thought of him. He will not reach me, and I am no longer alive without him. I will push him away, as I will run away from him. It has been so long since I've played outside. I see my younger self playing in these woods with my baby brother. We played hide and seek behind these trees. My mind is filled with my brother's face; he is gone too. I run faster. I don't care where I'm going. I want to get lost. I want to run until my heart stops longing for him and my mind stops screaming his name. My brother died when I was eight years old. He was also sick. No one could help him, and no one can help me. I will never stop running away. Memories rush through my head these woods are so familiar, yet I don't know where I'm headed towards. I think of everyone who cares about me. They will be better off without me bothering them. My breathing is rapid and my heart rate is unbelievable. I am the leaves were whispering to me falling into unconsciousness; falling away from reality, and that's when, for the first time, I see his face.