What I Wished For

Chapter 16 - What The Fuck

Anastasia

19th of August 2021

We've been dating for 2 months, a week and 4 days when I went over to his house to see him since I am on school holidays now. I have a key to his house now, for when he comes home late and he has one to mine as well. Walking up his driveway I put the key in his door and open it. When I walk in I immediately see him and Aanshi standing at the top of the wooden steps, right in the middle of the room kissing. His hands are on his waist and hers are wrapped around her neck.

Vaishant

I open the door to Aanshi and she strolls into my house, I follow her in a confused look on my face. When I get to the middle of the room she suddenly turns and slams her lips into mine. She grabs my neck in a chokehold, preventing me from moving. I push my hands onto her hips, trying to force her off of me, she only pulls me in closer. Suddenly, I hear the door slam closed and I see Anna's curls floating away. Shoving her as hard as I can off of me, I run out the door and call out her name.

Anastasia

I turn to face him and he stops running, seeing the tears rolling down my face. "WHAT THE FUCK!" I yell at him, "How could you do that to me? You told me you loved me you fucking liar!" 

"I wasn't lying," he responds, "just let me explain what happened." 

"NO! You don't get to fucking explain, I LOVE YOU!" I scream at him again. Running away from him I pull out my key, if someone sees me without context they will think a serial killer is chasing me. Rushing into the house as fast as possible, I run to my room and fall to the floor. Breaking into tears, I sob into the floor, the only guy I TRULY ever loved and he's fucking cheating on me. I wonder how far he went with her? This thought makes me sob more, I cry and cry and cry until I fall asleep on my bedroom floor.

Vaishant

I walk back into my house defeated, I will eventually tell her what happened but she won't listen to me right now, no matter how hard I try. Right now, I have to deal with Aanshi. Walking back into the house, I start yelling at her, "You fucking piece of shit, if I ever see you here again I will get a fucking restraining order!" 

She talks back to me, "Oh you know you liked it."

"No, I did not fucking like it when you forced yourself on me and then made my girlfriend run out of my house crying!" I tell her, still screaming, "get the fuck out of my house and don't ever come back so help me god." She leaves and I walk up to my room and just cry, I want my girlfriend, I want her to hug me and comfort me. I want to hug her and comfort her, I love her and miss her already.

Anastasia

At 11pm I am lying in bed contemplating my life choices, the guy I loved my whole life, the guy I thought I knew, I never thought he would - could - do this to me.

I hear a short knock and then my door opens, my eyes are red and puffy from crying when he walks in. "What are you doing here? I thought it was obvious that I am done with you." Walking over to me, he sits on my bed and rubs my arm. "I know you won't sleep if I'm not here. Can I sleep on the floor?" he asks me.

"No, get out of my room, go home," I reply. 

"Nia, please," he begs.

"You fucking cheated on me, someone who has loved you for 5 years. How could you do that to me?" I question, perplexed.  I have not been able to answer this question and truly want to understand how someone could do that, because I couldn't. "I didn't cheat on you, love-" he tries to explain.

"No! Don't call me that," I cut him off.

"Anna, I didn't cheat on you. I didn't want her to kiss me, I was trying to push her off of me, she's a fucking piece of shit," he tells me.

"I don't believe you," I sputter out. He looks at me sadly, and walks out of my room and then I hear the door downstairs close. 

Vaishant

Walking into my room I drop to my knees, I can't breathe. She doesn't believe me. I love her so much, she doesn't believe me. I didn't cheat on her. I start hyperventilating. I think I'm going to have a panic attack. I need her so much right now. I'm crying and I can't breathe. My sister walks into my room and sees me in the state that I'm in, "What the fuck happened?"

"We broke up," I respond, trying to get air in my lungs.

She rushes over to me dropping to her knees on the floor next to me, "It's ok bhaiyya, breathe for me. In and out." (Bhaiyaa means big brother in Hindi) She guides my breathing and I start to feel my blood pumping again. Looking my sister in the eyes I say, "Thank you, I love you, bahan." (Bahan means sister in Hindi). Vachi sits with me, her arm around my shoulder, for a whole half hour. My breathing slows and becomes more controlled and even as the time passes, though I still can't stop thinking about her. I get no sleep. I just lay in bed thinking about my ex girlfriend, Anna, the girl I love.

Anastasia

I don't sleep at all. I lie in bed. Thinking. About how he cheated on me and how he's not in my bed with me and how he looked when he tried to convince me that he wasn't cheating, then how he looked when he noticed me at the door, Aanshi's smug face behind him. With every thought I cry harder and louder until my cries turn to full blown sobs. I sob and sob until I am to exhausted to cry anymore.