a beautiful dream

her.

she's bad for me.
I know that.
but I can't help how I feel

it's not like I'd jump off a cliff for her
or anything, but I swear the world stops
when her eyes catch mine.

she's bad for me...
but the idea of her is beautiful.

the girl in my dreams only looks
like her, smiles like her, but 
doesn't act like she does.

she goes against the things I stand for.

yet I've loved her since we were
young - since before either of us 
knew who we were.

my mother doesn't understand it,
my friends think I'm like everyone else,
but I loved her before everyone else.

I was first.

I wish I could tell her that.

But only in my dreams.