fluid: haobin

10

"i'm sure you both know why i called you in today."

zhang hao looks at the two students sitting in front of him.

"gunwook, is your hand better? what did the doctor say?"

"they only said it was an abrasion but nothing serious. i just need to keep it dressed until it heals."

"that's good, you can go then," he tells the younger, who nods and bows before leaving.

leaving the manager and the other student in the office.

"so jihun, i did take my option and decided to look through the cctv."

"and did you see that i told you the truth?"

"no, i actually saw the complete opposite," zhang hao turns his laptop around, the clip from yesterday already on it. "just watch."

he clicks play and sure enough, the same scene plays. gunwook is still shuffling around to find his position, jihun is on the right. anyone could tell the purposeful action, of him starting to move towards the middle and forcing himself to jump on gunwook, who was surprised and grabbed his leg to try to balance.

"this, is something that is extremely different from what you told me," the manager points at his screen. "want to explain what i'm seeing?"

"ok, maybe i didn't give the complete truth...but i didn't see gunwook not ready and i thought he was. you can't blame me for thinking that way."

"but i can tell you that during the split second you looked toward gunwook's position, is the moment you decided to let yourself, your team, and us down."

hao leans forward and crosses his hands together while making eye contact with the student.

"practice is going on right now, but i'm not having you go. after this event, and seeing how you kept lying to us and put gunwook on the spot those many times, i'm making the decision to remove you from the crew. from now on, you are not coming back to any practices or events and your parents are on their way so i can explain this to them."

"what?! you're going to kick me out for this one thing?! it's not even my fault, i was trying to keep the routine going! if anything, he should be the one getting the consequences because he disrupted the entire team!"

"every word that's coming out of your mouth right now is hurting you even more. jihun, i want you to realize how big your actions are. if gunwook had anything more than a minor injury, he wouldn't be able to do anything because of the long recovery time. if he hadn't held on to you, then you would be the one with a cast right now. i don't think you realize that despite your mistake and putting your teammate in danger, he still chose to think about your well-being first and wanted to keep you safe. but clearly, you don't realize that and that's why we don't want you on the team anymore. if you can't realize how much your teammates did for you, then why even be on one?"

hao never thought he would speak that much but once he started, he couldn't stop. he hated how jihun wouldn't take responsibility and acknowledge the risk he put gunwook in. he hated how he wasn't willing to confess is wrong doing. but most of all, he hated how jihun had those intentions in the first place.

"first of all, why?"

"why what?"

"why did you do this to gunwook? you've never had a problem with any other student, but when it's so close to the competition, why?"

"why?" jihun gets up from the chair and starts to walk back and forth across the small office. "because it's not fair! i've worked my entire soul and body just to even get considered to join the crew. but park gunwook strolls in and all of a sudden, all eyes are on him and instructors start to favor him. that one time we were busking at hongdae? i should've been the one to have the solo segment. last year, i had to share the center position with him. when the scout came up to ask who were the ones leading the team, matthew hyung said it was me and gunwook. but who did he end up talking to? gunwook."

the student stops and stares at the ground, fists shaking and head down.

"why should i have to give up my own efforts for someone who barely puts in any?"

.

.

.

unknown to them, gunwook really hadn't left to go to the studio. instead, there he sat, in front of the door and trying to listen in starting when hao mentioned the cctv. but now, he wishes he hadn't.

"gunwook?"

the boy turns and sees hanbin standing in front of him, with a concerned look.

"hyung," the student wipes a stray tear and tries to give a smile. "did practice finish already?"

"no, i'm giving them a break right now and was trying to find you," the instructor puts out a hand, which the younger gladly takes to stand up. "follow me."

the pair walk into the staff break room, a small area with a refrigerator, small dining table in the middle, and a small stovetop with a kettle.

"here, drink this," hanbin hands gunwook a bottle of water, who takes with while saying thanks. "now, you want to explain to me why you never came to practice and i found you outside the office?"

"i heard hao hyung mention cctv, and was curious..."

the instructor sits down in front of him and reaches across to touch his hand. the warm touch made gunwook feel secure and safe with the other, even if they only met for less than a week.

"we needed to see how the whole thing happened, so we went through the cctv recording to see if there was anything weird."

"and i'm guessing you found something," gunwook says. "otherwise, jihun wouldn't be in the room for so long."

"you heard something, didn't you?" hanbin asks. "your face is telling me you're hurt. you don't have to tell me everything, but i hope you trust me enough to say whatever you're thinking."

he stays quiet for a bit, and the student looks down while clenching his unhurt hand around the water bottle.

"hyung, do you think i'm dragging the team down?"

"no, of course not! in fact, you're helping us so much with your technique and cooperation with the others."

"do you think i'm hurting my teammates?"

"what do you mean with that?"

"am i taking away opportunities from them? am i overshadowing or covering up all their efforts?"

"no. did jihun say something about you?"

"no...just that maybe he had a reason to do what he did, you know?"

"i don't know," the instructor stares into his eyes. "because if you're saying anything about you doubting your skill, drop the thought. jihun is in the wrong here and you did nothing to make him do the action."

gunwook lets out some tears, making the older get up and embrace the younger in his arms.

"gunwook, there's always going to be a gap in skills no matter how much effort both people can put in. jihun may put in the effort, but it may not be enough or there's something else he's missing. hurting you or putting you on the spot like this will do nothing for him but bring him down. i'm telling you right now, that your skills are natural, and that's why you are where you are right now. if others try to bring you down by looking down or acting on jealousy, don't feel burdened or lower yourself. instead, prove to them why they feel jealous. prove to them why you're up here and they aren't."