𝒴ℴ𝓊'𝓇ℯ ℴ𝓃 𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 ℴ𝓌𝓃 𝓀𝒾𝒹 － 𝒶 𝒷ℴℴ𝓀 ℴ𝒻 𝓅ℴℯ𝓂𝓈

35

Hell is a teenage girl

I wake up and I cry feeling a sense of emptiness.
I get out of bed and go to the bathroom,
I look in the mirror and become quickly disappointed in the image that I see.
My tummy is to big, my eyes aren't symmetrical, I have a gross pimple, my hair is greasy, my thighs are fat.

I go to the fridge to look for food but immediately leave when I feel like I'll be sick if I eat.

I try on nine different outfits in order to find the perfect one.
The perfect outfit that makes me look skinny but still gives me boobs.

I don't worry about the weather because who cares if you're cold as long as you look hot.

I put on a light layer of makeup
Enough to make me pretty but not too much that it looks unnatural.

I struggle to hide the bags beneath my eyes from crying myself to sleep.
But eventually I decide that it's hopeless to continue and I give up.

I sit around all day having information shoved in my face,
But none of it actually makes sense to me.

I go to lunch with my friends and hope that their company will distract me from the hunger pains,
Surging through my body.

I sit frustrated with myself for being too stupid to understand something that everyone else knows.
I'm constantly holding back tears as I try to figure it out on my own,
Because I don't want anyone thinking I'm an idiot.

I walk home in silence overthinking everything that happened during the day,
And I mentally scold myself the entire time.

I get home only to be target of misplaced insults
"You're fat" "you're a slut" "stop being a bitch" "no one wants you here"
I go to the safety of my room with tear filled eyes,
debating if i will finally eat or continue to hold of until supper.

I give into my hunger and eat way too much food to make up for my lack throughout the day.
I eat and eat until I feel disgusted with myself and make myself sick.

I go to my desk and attempt to do my homework and I cry everytime I get something wrong,
Because if i don't do everything perfect my life is over.

I go for supper only to return to the dark comfort of my bedroom.

I watch mind-numbing tv until 2 am when I begin to cry myself to sleep,
Knowing that tomorrow won't be any different.