I laid in bed thinking about what is going to happen with me. This child will grow on tour, I will have to put everything on hold when I have 3 months left.
"Bree? Are you alright babe?" Luke asked me.
"Huh?"
"You're staring off into space."
"Oh sorry. Just thinking."
"About what?" He asked and wrapped his arms around me.
"How my life will turn out with this child."
"Whatever happens, I'll always be with you." He kissed my cheek. "I have to go, the boys want to have a meeting or something."
"Alright, have fun." I said with no emotion in my voice what so ever.
I turn back around and sit on my bed looking blankly at the TV screen. It's all just hit me. Everything is actually being put into motion and j don't know how I'm supposed to cope with everything. I'm scared. I admit it that I am terrified. But I don't want to tell Luke, he is just so excited for me, for us, and I don't want to do or say anything that will change his look on everything.
I'll keep going for today and talk to him about it later on. I shouldn't keep anything like this from him. He is the father of this child anyway.
"Are you ready to head off?" Lilly asked poking her head in the door of my hotel room. I nodded in response and stood up slowly, resting the palm of my right hand on the top of my stomach. "Bree? Is everything alright?" She walked over to me slowly and wrapped her arms around me as my tears fell down my cheeks.
"I'm scared Lilly. I'm scared of having this baby, scared of what's going to happen during and after the pregnancy. I'm just scared." I admitted to her.
"How is Luke helping you?" I remained silent. "You have told him about how you're feeling right?" No response. "Bree you need to tell him. He has an equal right to know how you're feeling." She let me go and wiped my tears. "We have to go, come on." She put a arm around my waist and walked me down to the van. Sky and Ash were already at the arena.
I stared out into the scenery as the van drove through the city to the arena. We sat at the lights. Just a right here and then down the street for two minutes before we arrive. The van began moving but turned left. "Lilly?"
"You need to speak to Luke. And before our show." I let out a sigh.
We stopped moving and got out. We were welcomed inside and shown to the stage where the boys were practicing. Luke was dancing around the stage quite horribly, but once he took one look at me his whole mood changed. His face dropped, and filled with sadness and worry. He left his mic, placing his guitar on the ground and turned to approach me. I ran into the stage and met him half way. He wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face into his neck. I let more tears fall down my face.
He led me away from the stage and to his dressing room. He gestured for me to sit down but I shook my head.
"I'm scared Luke." I said looking at him, trying to hold my tears back.
"Scared? Of what?" He said and reached out to me but I pulled back.
"If you hold me, I won't be able to get this out." I said softly and he lowered his arms. "I'm scared of what the future holds for me now. What this child will do to change my life. What will happen during and after this pregnancy. I'm scared of moving forward, everything is happening so fast, and all at once. My mind is trying to figure out everything, but my body is growing. I'm having weird cravings and things are happening that I haven't expected them too."
