My Darkest Light

|5| Feeling Guilty

What do you in your free time? 🖼️
I'm usually reading or painting.

Enjoy the chapter!

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When I got home last night, I took a shower and went straight to sleep. I was so exhausted from sorting and organizing all those files he had me do yesterday.

The whole way home, all I could think about was when he touched my hand. How it felt when he placed it on mine. I wasn't expecting that all, especially, with how cold he is towards me.

I'm embarrassed at how I clammed up when he yelled at me. After everything that happened with the person I shall not think about, I'm very cautious around people. That's one of the reasons why I'm so nice to people. To avoid any confrontation or conflict so they don't get angry or mad.

My anxiety has been bugging me a lot since I came to New York. I think it's because of all the people I'm constantly experiencing on a day to day basis.

My alarm just went off, so now I'm sitting up on the edge of my bed. Or I should say, on the edge of my mattress. I still need to get a bed frame. This is just gonna have to do in the meantime.

Realizing that I should be getting ready for work, I take a quick shower, brush my teeth, and do a little bit of skincare. I put on a little makeup, consisting of concealer, face powder, blush, a little mascara, and some lipgloss.

I decide on just wearing a simple black dress today. All though, I wish I was allowed to wear one of my sundresses. It would be super cute and a lot more comfortable in my opinion.

When that's done, I go to the kitchen to grab some breakfast. It doesn't hit me that I still don't have actual groceries until I open the fridge. I guess, I'm gonna have to grab something on the way. I woke up earlier this morning, so I'll have plenty of time. Also, so I won't be late today like he said I was yesterday.

Once I leave my apartment building, I get in my car and drive to a little coffee shop by his business. It's only a block away, so I shouldn't be late. I go inside, taking in what's on the menu as I wait in line.

I'm waiting in line, when my phone starts ringing. Which is strange because Peyton is usually still asleep around this time in the morning. It's almost seven, so I really doubt she's up. Plus, I already texted my parents this morning because they wake up extremely early.

I pull out my phone, checking to see who's calling. I stare at the unknown number contact, as my phone continues to buzz in my hand.

"Hello," I pick up before it stops buzzing.

"Hi, Rosie," his deep voice comes through the phone.

My heart rate picks up, so I quickly step out of line. I go to the back sitting area where it's less crowded. "Why are you calling me?" my voice comes out shaky.

I hear him chuckle a bit on the other end. "I'm just checking in on you, especially since I heard you done you moved to New York," he say's innocently.

So that means he's back in my hometown. He left not long after what happened between us. There wasn't really anyone in my town who didn't know I was moving here. So of course, someone must've told him.

"You know, I've always wanted to visit New York," his voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

My breathing gets heavier. I don't want to see him ever again and I don't know what I'll do if he comes here. "Stay away from me," my voice breaks.