Self Destruct / Satoru Gojo

CH III - risa doesn't like tea

CH III - risa doesn't
like tea

☠️

Even though Izumi accepted Risa's request with ease and asked no pointed questions, she treated it as if it were an appointment. Risa felt like she was talking to a receptionist as Izumi shuffled around on the other end, looking for a date that she was available for, and scheduled the meet-up for two weeks after the call was made. This wasn't really a shock to Risa that Izumi would pull something like this. Using the excuse of being busy, though, made Risa's eyebrows raise. If she's being honest, she assumed that Izumi did nothing with her time other than be the ruler of all that is evil and plot ways to make her husband's affair kid's life more difficult than it actually is. Thinking about it more, Risa can give her stepmother some understanding. Being the wife of the head of the clan, whose behavior is nothing short of unpredictable, must be incredibly time-consuming. In a way, she's grateful because it meant she had time, and with those two weeks:

She has a speech prepared.

It is not in Risa's nature to be prepared for anything. She felt ridiculous writing down her words on the bright, neon pink flash cards. Nao let her borrow, and even though she strictly made sure to do this without being seen, it still made her cheeks flush from embarrassment. But Risa needs to do this; she can admit that her track record of speaking her mind when it comes to her father isn't the best, and she certainly can't make the same mistake and think that the meeting is going to go any differently, and suddenly she won't revert back to being in this paralyzed state of fear that she has to come up with this lame excuse that she willingly wanted to see them, which is far from the truth. This is necessary; she has to remind herself as she paces back and forth, reciting her speech from the top of her head while having a firm grip on the flash cards.

"Fuck!" She curses when she gets the line wrong—the one she's been struggling with this entire time—and who knows how long she's been reciting it. She looks up from her card, and her eyes land on the stuffed blue peguin on her bed that's facing her direction. The peguin had been her only audience this whole time, and despite the fact that it wasn't a conscious being, Risa just knows it's passing judgment.

She visualizes stuffing it into the trash can, going so far as to stomp on it with her foot, but the reality is that Risa could never get rid of it even if she wanted to. She won it in junior high at the cultural festival, which is probably the biggest accomplishment of her life. No, tomorrow will be the biggest accomplishment of your life, the voice in her mind interjects.

Her phone buzzes, and she pulls it out of the pocket of her pajama shorts. She's disappointed when she reads the contact name. While she can vouch that these two weeks have been very productive, she can't deny that they have also been spent dodging her mother's calls, making it the longest the two have gone without any sort of contact. She can just see her mom on the other side of the world right now, ready for her shift at the hospital since it's Friday. She's wearing her Hello Kitty scrubs that Risa giggled at when she first saw them, and she assumes that smoke is actually coming out of her ears.