Make Us Play Forever? Conan Gray x Reader

I Want You To Need Me

Not me blasting Hayloft II right now 😭 Like girl- why am I writing kiss scenes to a song about murder?!?! Hmm- maybe I got Henry on my mind.... who am I kidding?! I ALWAYS DO BAHAHAHAHA

This one's a good one, so enjoy <3

You can do this, y/n... just... move forward. I knock on the heavy black door, and I hear the music volume lower. I sway nervously, tugging on my sleeves and the hem of my dress, wiping my palms on my thighs. His lights are on, and I hear him clamber down the stairs. I feel him take a peek at me through a small gap in the curtains, but when I turn to the window, he's not there anymore. I go to know again, but then I hear him at the door.

The door swings open quickly, and Conan stands there, confused and caught off-guard. He's wearing a gentle, cream-coloured linen button-up shirt with loose sleeves and dark brown slack pants. 

"Hey y/n, erm, is everything alright?" he asks quietly, his eyes looking to find something to focus on other than me. The sun's setting now, so nobody else is around anymore- they're all with their families. But when you live alone, like me, this is the time of day when you go to explain why you ran away from a guy after impulsively kissing him at his party a few days ago.

"I think we need to talk," I explain, "Please Conan?"

He looks down, and I can tell that he's considering saying no, but then he nods, gesturing for me to come inside. I follow him into the kitchen, hopping up onto the cool marble counter. I lean back a little, putting my weight on my hands. I let my legs dangle and swing a little, and his eyes flicker over them as I do so.

"Want a drink?" he asks, and I nod, clearing my throat a little.

"Is water OK?" I ask, and he nods politely, grabbing a clear cup from the cupboard and filling it up, "Conan I think you know why I'm here... we need to discuss the kissing thing."

He pauses, sliding the water beside me and hopping up onto the counter opposite me. 

"Y/n... It's fine. I get it. If you aren't ready for that then it's okay. I think I need to just pull back if that's the case. I'm starting to think I love too easily because my heart... I think I'm falling too hard and I keep shattering. It's not good for my mental health- breaking myself again and again," his eyes are dull and tired, and his body is closed off from mine, but I can still see tears forming in his eyes. I want to pull him into my arms and wipe them away, but I can't. It feels... wrong right now. 

"Conan, it's not that at all. I care about you, a lot, but I don't want to use you. I don't want you to think that I'm just fangirling all the time. Everything that I say and do to you is genuine, and I don't want you thinking that I'm just using you in any way," I explain gently, finally grasping his eyes and keeping contact with them. 

"What about when you kissed me?" he asks nervously, biting his lip. I take my glass of water and gulp it down.

"That was real too," I admit, rubbing the back of my neck with one hand, "I don't regret it, either."

"Why did you leave after?"

"I... I don't know really... I just was so nervous and I couldn't take... being there?" I exhale loudly, and Conan listens patiently, "I couldn't deal with my own awkwardness. I also just had to pull myself out of the situation before I made things too awkward."

"Fight or flight?" he suggests with a small grin.

"Fight or flight," I agree, "although, I think you'd prefer that I didn't choose to fight and kick you in the no-no square."