Songbird

Twenty- Five: Colt

"Dad?... Dad?... Hey, Dad! Earth to Dad!"

I waved my head as Beau's voice met my ear. I hadn't even realized I'd spaced off, nor that I was clutching the steering wheel of my truck so tightly that my knuckles were white. "What, bud?"

"Why do you look like you're about to puke?"

Because I feel like I am. That was the response my brain gave, but it wasn't what my mouth said. "I don't know. Do I?"

I glanced over at my son to see his golden curls bouncing as he nodded his head. "Are you nervous?" he asked.

I sighed and shook my head in exasperation. Couldn't get anything by this kid. "I mean, a little, yeah."

"Why? It's just Miss Lennie. It's not like she's a stranger."

"I think it'd be easier if she was," I mumbled as I turned down the long Orchard drive.

"What are you nervous about?" Beau asked. "You guys are friends again, right?"

"It's not that simple, Beau. Yeah, we're getting along, but it's not like we've really hung out since... since..."

"Since you broke her heart? You can say it, Dad."

"Who the hell's side are you on?" I asked with a laugh. "It sure doesn't feel like mine."

"I'm on the side of happiness. Everyone's."

I narrowed my eyes on my kid as I put the truck into park. "You been talking to your grandma way too much about this, haven't you?"

Beau's eyes rolled as he clutched the door handle like he couldn't wait to get away from me. "I don't need Grandma to tell me to say smart things, Dad."

"That's ain't what I said!" I exclaimed as he hopped out, instantly darting to Lennie, who was waiting near the horses with a beaming smile on her face.

My heart leapt into my throat, watching her bend down to Beau's level and wrapping her arms around him. Not that she had to stoop much. Kid was growing like a fucking weed. He was damn near chest level with my 6'2" frame now. A few more inches and he would be the same height as Lennie. I just sat in the truck and watched them for a minute, Beau rattling off in excitement, and Lennie watching him with nothing short of adoration in her eyes. It made my chest tight, both with absolute love for the both of them, and guilt over the fact that he could have lost someone who loved him so effortlessly because of my stupidity.

"GET OUTTA THE CAR, DAD!" I heard Beau shout before he darted off to the barn, probably sent on some mission by the woman he idolized.

I just chuckled and shook my head, following his instructions at my own leisurely pace. I took a deep breath and finally climbed out, heading toward the girl staring at me with a sweet smile.

"Hi," Lennie greeted as I finally got close enough to hear her.

"Hey," I responded, flashing her a quick grin before stuffing my hands into the back pockets of my jeans. Jesus, I felt like a fucking teenager. I didn't know what to say, what to do. I didn't want to do or say anything to make her uncomfortable, but I also had the impeding desire to just spill my guts out onto the patch of dirt between us.

"How are you?" Lennie asked softly, snapping me out of my own head.

I sighed and shrugged. "I'm okay, I think," I answered. "You?"

Lennie's head began nodding as she shifted her weight from one foot to another. "Yeah, I'm okay, too. I think." She scratched along her collarbone, leaving a red patch against her tan skin. "Does this feel weird or is it just me?"