Burning Flames ¦ Evan Buckley

Chapter 69 - Guilt

They made it to the hospital, guilt seeping through every pore in El's shaken body. Albert was rushed straight through, a blood transfusion waiting for him however with covid and none of the team being family, they were left at the doors to hell once again. El turned to Buck, her eyes glossed with tears that threatened to fall, "Are you okay?" She asked, squeezing his hand in which had been clasped in hers since getting into the truck.

"Yeah...yeah" Buck nodded, chewing his bottom lip, "I need to find Chim...I got Maddie's pregnancy bag from the car.." He gulped, his hand shaking in hers.

"You want me to come with you?" She asked softly.

"Just give me a minute" Buck nodded weakly before slowly letting go of her hand despite it being the only comfort he felt in that moment.

"You gonna tell me why you had a panic attack back there?" Eddie's voice sounded from behind her.

El turned round, shushing him before taking his arm and leading him outside to a more quiet area. "Buck doesn't know about them okay so I prefer we keep it between us" El spoke in a harsh yet polite tone, "I-I had one earlier...because Albert getting hurt was...is my fault" El's voice was a little shaky.

"H-how was it your fault?" Eddie questioned, not understanding where she was coming from.

"I was the only reason he was out on the road tonight, I was the one that told Chim and Buck that he needs to get a job...he was out delivering food and it's all my fault" Els' bottom lip quivered with guilt.

"El, there is no way you could have known this would happen, this is not your fault" Eddie confirmed, his hands resting on her shoulder gently, his eyes locking with hers. As he saw the glossy emerald eyes, he melted, "Come here" He sighed and pulled her in for a tight hug, kissing the top of her head gently. El wrapped her arms around him tightly, snuggling into him as tightly and as closely as she possibly could.

Buck went to find El and grab the bag of Maddie's things however we came outside the sight before him hurt his soul. Seeing his best friend and his girlfriend linked in a close and clearly comforting embrace was hard to witness. He stood there for a few moments, in shock and in jealousy.

El pulled away from the embrace and Eddie gently wiped the tears that had escaped, "Now go find Buck and be his shoulder...this wasn't your fault" Eddie confirmed with a small smile.

"Thank you Eddie" El spoke gently however as he pulled away completely her eyes were met with the sight of a pained Buck. God this looked bad. "Buck.." She called quietly however he shook his head and began to walk off and away from whatever it was he just witnessed.

"I'll go," Eddie confirmed, stopping El in her tracks before she could run after him. "Buck, Buck wait up" Eddie called but eventually just met him at the engine. He lent against the engine, short of breath, "It wasn't what it looked like..."

"Oh really, because it looked like you two were pretty close" Buck snapped, slamming the cabinet shut.

"She was panicking, she blames herself for Albert getting hurt and she didn't want to talk about it with you" Eddie confirmed, not wanting to reveal all too much, "She knows how much Albert means to you and she didn't want to make it about herself!"

"So she runs to you instead," Buck tutted.

"Maybe take a look at your relationship and ask yourself why she comes to me about these things" Eddie snapped, not meaning to.

"Wow" Buck laughed in shock, "Thanks man, here I was thinking you were my best friend"

"I am but I'm also hers" Eddie protested, "She has PTSD, I don't know if you released or she told you, but she does. I saw it all in the field..."