A Few Steps To Your Heart

Chapter 10

Georgia continued her exploration of his room, but even though it was grand, she couldn't explore all day. At least not only his room. So when he kept looking out the window, Georgia didn't think there would be any harm in looking around his house. She watched Gavin for a moment, still staring out that annoying window. Somehow he found the outside, the part of the garden he had been staring at for months, more interesting than her or anything she could come up with. He could do as he wanted to, of course, but she didn't quite get why that part could keep staying interesting.

"I am going to take a look around. Do you need anything?" she asked.

He remained quiet, and she had expected that, but she thought she might as well ask since she was leaving his room. She opened the door and closed it behind her, making sure he was left to his privacy which he clearly enjoyed. She began walking down the long hallways, seeing pictures hanging around. Gavin and she had never spent any time together as kids. As Martha had said, once the parents could finally find some time together, they wanted it to be without kids, which she completely understood. Sometimes adults needed to be adults and take a step away from the parent role. Since Gavin's parents had money, he went to private schools and got the best education, and he went into a field that was so far away from Georgia's own field. They had nothing in common, really, and she had also been a bit of a lost cause in her younger days. Or she thought she had been. It was a teacher who had believed in her and put her back on track. That was why she became inspired to teach as well.

Life was interesting, though. It took you in weird directions you never thought you would go, but Georgia wasn't sad about it. She had learned to handle life as it came. It took time and patience, but eventually, she had been able to find some true calmness inside her. She was inspired all the time with the people she had volunteered with. They showed that no matter what, there could be a light at the end of the tunnel, but you had to be willing to walk through the darkness before you could find it. Not everyone had the strength to do it, and she didn't blame them. That was why she understood why Gavin also had his dark mood swings. He was still trapped in the dark tunnel, and he wasn't moving forward. Could she really make him move? It was, of course, him in the end who had to take the steps forward, but could she be there to guide him? Hold his hand? To Georgia, he didn't seem like someone who wanted a person to hold his hand. He was too stubborn, but that stubbornness could also be of use if he would just see that it could be his fuel instead of the wall that he kept ramming into because he refused to go around it or climb it.

Georgia kept looking at the pictures on the walls, showing Gavin's life, how he grew up, all the things he used to do. She could see he had done a lot of things, even enjoyed rock climbing, riding motorcycles, running marathons. He was seeking the adrenaline, and he loved doing all of these things. She knew they had become part of his identity, and when parts of your identity were ripped away, then you lost something. You felt lost because you did lose those important parts. Georgia knew this, not only because she had worked with people like Gavin, and they had explained to her their experiences, but also because her life had been turned around. Gavin was a great detective, she thought. He knew when someone wasn't spilling the whole truth, but she was not here to tell her life stories or why the extra money was important to her. She was here to cheer him up, and she would do her best.

Georgia continued until she reached a living room. She went towards the doors, leading outside, and she walked into the fresh and warm summer air, breathing it in and feeling the warmth on her skin. It felt very good, she thought as she stood there, before she looked over the lawn and passed by the big pool. They had a lot of space behind their house, and she could probably get in some exercise doing a few laps. The thought amused her, and she chuckled softly as she stood there, looking at the fresh green grass. When she turned around, she noticed how she was just in line with Gavin's window, and she waved at him. As expected, he didn't wave back, which just made her laugh some more and shake her head. She wasn't saddened by that. He was a tough nut to crack, but she hoped with time she could, because she knew he was deep down in that dark hole, that he wasn't getting out of by himself. He would have to take the steps himself, but he needed a hand. Georgia walked around for a little while longer, then returned back to the house and walked into his room.

"It's great outside," she told him. "Lots of light and the weather is nice."

He remained quiet and with his back to her, not saying a word.

"You could come with?" she suggested.

Still, nothing, and it made her annoyed. She stepped closer, coming up to his side, but Gavin didn't even turn his head. He remained stubborn.

"You know you're looking outside every day anyway, why not come and enjoy it outside? What makes the difference?"

"You're there," he said, turning his head. "And I would rather not be where you are."

"Wow, you can be an ass."

"I can. I was an ass before this."

"Why do I not doubt it?" she asked, but Gavin turned away, not saying anything else. "Want to see a movie? Should I read something?"

"Quietness. That is what I prefer. Haven't I made that clear yet?" he asked.

"No, don't worry, it is very clear," she sighed.

"Then why are you talking?"

"Maybe because I know how much it annoys you," she chuckled.

He turned his head again, looking up at her, and she gave him a big smile, which only seemed to make him angrier.

"Why is that your life's goal?" he asked.

"I am just here for the summer, why shouldn't we make something out of it?"

"Because I am counting down the seconds until you leave," he confessed. "Besides, you really think it's just a summer job?"

"Well, we never talked about prolonging it. I think your mother wanted to see how well we connected, which I can tell her is just going SUPER!" Georgia joked, holding up her thumbs, making Gavin look at her with a tired expression.

"Yes... super..." he mumbled.

Georgia groaned a little. "Come now, there must be something you want to do? Something you used to enjoy? Something that will put a smile on your lips?"

"I don't smile."

"That's a lie. In the pictures on the walls, you smile."

Gavin looked behind himself, right at the closed doors, and Georgia noticed how his face changed, as if he realized something.

"What?" she asked.

Gavin shook his head, making it clear he wasn't going to share his thoughts, but he wasn't really a person who shared much. Georgia had noticed that. Gavin really tried his hardest to get rid of her, but she was quite relentless. Seeing her out in the backyard did something funny to him, which only annoyed him even more. He didn't want this strange woman to suddenly do things to him. He was fine where he was. He wanted to remain like that, unbothered by everyone. He wanted to stay as he was, frozen in time because if he remained frozen, then maybe he never had to accept his new reality. He could stay in denial about everything. He could tell himself that his life wasn't over, that he was still the same person as before the accident. But Georgia kept pushing him. She kept trying to make him feel something, and if he began feeling, he knew there were many things he would have to face. Things he wasn't ready to face. Things he wasn't sure he would ever be ready to face because it meant moving beyond denial. It meant learning to accept things, and he didn't want to accept anything. It felt too unfair. It felt like he was being robbed.

"Could you just take off early?" he asked.

"I am here until one when one of your parents come home."

"Why do you think that is?"

"Huh?"

"Do I look like I need a babysitter?" he asked.

Georgia shrugged, not sure where he was going with this.

"I don't know, maybe you act like a child," she countered, shocking him with her fast reply.

"No, they are worried. What won't a depressed person do when they are alone?"

His comment shocked her too, but it was for different reasons. Gavin smiled, seeing her scared reaction, but then suddenly Georgia moved, taking a chair from further away and then placing it down beside him. She sat down and faced the window just like him, before crossing her arms and remaining in her seat, confusing Gavin.