A Few Steps To Your Heart

Chapter 25

Georgia wasn't attempting to pressure him this time. She had only spoken as she did because she was uncertain if he could manage to accompany her to her appointment so far from home. It was a genuinely kind gesture, one she appreciated, but she believed it was more of a polite question after their morning altercation. She found it sweet but not necessary. She hadn't even planned to bring her parents along. She thought it would be better to go alone, but now Gavin had offered to accompany her, and he seemed sincere.

"I..." Georgia began.

"I don't need to be coddled," Gavin replied.

"You're the one who stayed holed up in your room. Excuse me for thinking you weren't prepared for this."

Gavin wasn't about to admit that he saw the irrationality in his behavior or that he was now ready to venture out into the world. But he had this feeling, something in his heart pressing him to go with Georgia. Perhaps it was because he knew what it felt like to receive bad news from doctors. Maybe he had a hunch that she was going to receive bad news too, and he didn't want her to face it alone.

"I know where I've been for months. I don't need you to remind me," he replied.

"But now you're suddenly ready to go out?" Georgia asked.

"I'm not partying. I'm just going to the doctor with you," he said. "I assume we're going to a hospital since you mentioned advanced tests?"

"I could bring my parents," she reminded him.

"Will you?" he asked.

"What?" she asked in return.

"Will you bring your parents, or are you going alone?" he pressed.

Georgia sighed, placed her hands on the railing, and gazed out at the expansive backyard. She took a moment to collect her thoughts. Gavin's behavior today was puzzling, as if he had undergone a sudden transformation. She wasn't sure how to handle this new Gavin, who had previously done nothing but push her away but now insisted on accompanying her to the doctor's office. It seemed extreme to her. She couldn't quite fathom why he was so determined to go with her.

"I had planned to go alone," she finally replied.

"You should never receive this kind of news on your own," he asserted.

Georgia looked at Gavin, who offered a small smile, but he remained enigmatic. He was acting in a way she wasn't accustomed to, and she didn't know how to deal with this new version of him.

"What's gotten into you?" she asked.

"What?" he responded.

"This isn't like you. You're not the grumpy Gavin," she told him.

He chuckled a bit and shook his head.

"I mean, you can be grumpy one moment, but the next, you're not."

"Maybe I'm just ready for more," he suggested.

"Maybe you should learn to walk before you run," she reminded him.

"Well, there's no chance of either for me..."

"We don't know that," she said.

"We do."

"Why do you always look at the glass as half empty?" she asked, feeling defeated by his willingness to give up so quickly.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't," she replied.

"All right," he said, folding his hands. "What did I tell you yesterday?"

"What?" she asked.

"You asked me about the worst thing I've experienced in my job, what I've seen," he reminded her.

"Yes?"

"And what did I tell you?"

"You said it was the look in the victims' eyes," she replied.

"And how many victims do you think I've looked in the eyes?" he asked. "How many have I had to tell that I couldn't do more for them?"

Georgia began to understand where he was going with this, and it saddened her that someone like Gavin, who was clearly dedicated to protecting others, had to deliver the message that there was nothing more he could do. Not all cases were solved, not all wrongdoers were brought to justice. The world didn't work that way, and the number of unsolved cases far exceeded the number of those who faced consequences for their crimes. She could imagine the toll it took on him when he couldn't do what he truly wanted, which was to protect those who had been hurt.

"I understand," she whispered.

"Do you?"

"I see your point," she acknowledged.

"Good, then—"

"But it's not the whole world," she interrupted.

"What?"

"I mean, you can't live your life thinking that all the bad things will always come your way. Just because some people don't find justice or luck doesn't mean it's the same for everyone. You might have a chance, so why not take it?" she asked.

"Don't you think a lot of other people thought the same? 'Why not take the chance? I could be the lucky one'. So many people think that way, and where does it lead them?" he countered.

"But it's not like you've been told you have only five days to live. They've said that some people find their way back on their feet."

"But with my luck, I don't believe it will happen."

"You broke your back because of an explosion. Has something like that ever happened to you before?" she asked.

"No..."

"Exactly!" she pointed out. "It was an unfortunate incident, but it doesn't mean you're cursed with bad luck forever."

"I don't want to be disappointed," he admitted.

"But you might not be. I'm going to be..."

"Georgia..."

"We both know it," she sighed, turning away to look at the lawn again. "We both know I'm going to be told that I'm sick and that I have to be on medication for the rest of my life."

"But it's manageable," he reminded her.

"I know, and that's why I'm not going to skip my appointment," she said, turning back to see a teasing glint in her eyes.

"Oh, I see."

"Do you?" she teased.

"You're trying to teach me a lesson here."

"Well, I am a teacher. It's sort of my job," she joked.

Gavin chuckled, shaking his head. She did have a point there, he thought. Even though she was trying to offer him hope, it just wasn't there for him. For months, he had been convinced that there was nothing he could do to change his life. Breaking that cycle wouldn't be easy, but being there for Georgia gave him a small sense of purpose. It filled the emptiness inside him, making it just a bit smaller.

"And protecting people is my purpose," he told her.

"Yes, but I don't need protection. You can't even protect me from this."

"There's more to protection than being a shield. It's about offering support."

"I can handle it," she said, looking down.

"But do you really want to handle it on your own?"

Georgia shrugged. She honestly wasn't sure how she felt or what she wanted to do. Dealing with her new reality was difficult enough, both for her and her parents. She was unsure of what she truly needed. She had tried distracting herself from all the visits and tests she had undergone. Initially, she had no idea what might be wrong with her, and Google had not been her friend, offering terrifying possibilities like having only five days left to live. It had taken time for the doctors to provide a definitive diagnosis. She was sick, but she hadn't fully grasped it yet. Consequently, she hadn't figured out what she needed from all of this. Did she need someone to hold her hand, or could she face it on her own?