Never Let You Go: Life On The Line (A Mindless Behavior Story)

Hi, my name is Asia. Yes my name is named after a continent weird as fuck or what? But I guess its cute so whatever. I'm going to turn 18 tomorrow, I'm not that fussed about it. I'm not one of them specifically 'happy' people, like I'm not goth or anything but I'm more pessimistic than optimistic. Its hard to believe how I was one of them 'full of sunshine' girls before. Yes, take a minute to digest that shocking fact.

*

Done? Good. Well, you may be asking why I became like this. There's only one word to reveal that.

Love.

I know it sounds cheesy but it's surprisingly true. Yes, I was in love before, but that was the biggest mistake I ever made in my whole entire life.

So I decided to keep myself to myself to avoid liking any boy.

Why was it a mistake?

Little did I know that the boy I fell in love with and dated for 2 years was Cali's most feared gang leader.

He was the one the police spent years looking for and still unsuceeded, the one that made parents act more strict towards their kids about going out at nights. The one who made California a violent place to live in.

He was in a gang with people I thought were his best friends. He seemed so innocent and sincere so I never doubted him.

My friend tried to warn me before but I didn't listen I was blinded by love.

When I found out and saw it for my own eyes its like life wasn't life anymore. Sounds dramatic but its all true.

I couldn't take it in and I actually passed out.

I found out that I passed out for a day and I even had a chance of not making it alive. Its because when I realised the truth, I was so shocked and traumatized, that pressure built up inside my body causing one of my blood vessels to explode.

When I woke up I saw my family there.

I didn't tell them what happened, I came up with some false story instead.

I didn't want to talk to Craig at all, but I needed answers.

When I finally got discharged from the hospital I went directly to his apartment.

My parents told me that I needed rest but I told them that it was important.

When I got there the whole place was empty. I was dumb-founded.

I tried calling him but it didn't go through.

Was my 'love' really california's feared teen and did he really just leave me?

I went home in tears. I remained as a emotional corpse for a week until I got a text.

It was from his best friend.

I remember that text message word by word like its life's lesson or something.

" Old Pier 8pm. Be there. -J "

I went to the pier that night and saw him there. I looked like a total mess but he looked at me like I was a super model.

We spoke, no actually argued, for a long time. My eyes were sore from all the tears.

He said that he didn't want to upset me by telling me, but he didn't realize how hurt I was finding this out without him telling me straight up. I felt so used and betrayed. Its like my heart broke when I saw him that day, no wonder I passed out.

He cried a bit but I told him that I'm going and he said OK.

As I walked away he said the words...

" I will never let you go, no matter what. "

When I heard him say that I went up to him and punched him right in the face.

" Leave me alone you bastard. If you ever loved me you'll let me be. I hate you."

Of course I didn't mean the last sentence at that moment but I totally agree with it now.

Since then I told my family and we moved all the way to London. My dad got a big job here too, we settled in well.

I purposely lost contact with everyone in Cali and did not tell anybody that we moved to UK; I changed my number too

Back then I was 15 going on 16 but now I'm officially going to be an adult tomorrow.

I'm proud of myself for keeping it on the low for 2/3 whole years.

London is a good place even though its stereotypically posh some bits are ghetto as hell. But I like ghetto.

When I came here a lot of boys were trying it on me but now they know not to mess with me. I have a group of friends that I can trust but I have not told them anything about my past in USA.

I go to an all-girls university (College); I'm majoring in child therapy.

Well I've literally told you everything about me so yeah bye.

*

I pressed stop and took a deep breath. I looked down at my iPhone which I recorded myself speaking with. Yeah, the way to make myself feel at ease is by recording myself speak. It's very weird but it's really effective.

I put my phone down and looked at my reflection at the big oval mirror opposite me.

I noticed that I was crying. I wiped my tears and combed through my hair with my fingers. I put my hair in a high messy bun and laid down on my bed till I slept like a baby.